167 - When people are impolite

At my job, I work alongside another bartender. He's actually been bartending for years, and has way more experience than I do, but there are some things I just do not understand about his behavior, because he lacks some qualities that I would normally expect from an experienced barman.

One of these things is the fact that he has extremely bad manners. There are many times during the crazy hours of our job (6pm to midnight) where the two of us must co-operate in order to handle all the food, drink, and customers, properly. Sometimes, I'll ask him to help pour that gin and tonic, and one coke, while I, at the same time, pour three glasses of beer. That's just a typical drinks order from a five-person table in our restaurant.

Even though I may sound bossy and rushed, I always ask him to help me out with some large orders, and I follow it up with the magic word, "please". When the job is done, I say "thanks, man", because I know I would've handled it much slower without his aid. He, on the other hand, never follows up a request with "please", and he never responds with "thank you" after I help him out. It just irks me because I was brought up to be well-mannered, while he offers not the slightest hint of such courtesy.

He never says "excuse me" either. He's a big guy, which means I always have to let him have the most convenient route while we both navigate around the bar, lest I might get trampled. He is so rude, and so unknowingly aggressive. He just talks in my ear while I'm taking a customer's order, nudges me while I'm pouring six glasses of wine, taps my shoulder while I'm cutting a lemon, practically knocks me over while I'm squatting down to grab bottles of beer out of the fridges, pushes into me while I'm carrying two cups of hot coffee, bumps into me while I'm cleaning the shelves...

In this respect, I hate working with him. First of all, it adds risk of injury to my job. Plus, it just makes me want to swear at him (e.g., "Two glasses of hot water, please, for table 5!" ...graceless asshole).

That's not good.

That ain't good at all.

7 - Nudging your chair from behind

You probably have had similar situations happen to you before, where a person sitting behind you nudges you from behind. Those are common, but have a listen of the following story and tell me if you've had this ever happen to you before. :D

I was sitting on the bus to school, minding my own business, and some guy, older than me, sat down, not in the seat behind me, but in front of me. In front? Not behind? That's odd, you might think, but what I experienced was, indeed, sort of odd. This man managed to sit down and have his back nudge me by sitting down forcefully. He not only did that, but for the whole trip, he kept squirming in his chair, causing me to be uncomfortable and squirmy as well. He was nudging me whilst he was in front of me. In the moment, I just thought... wow.

And in the usual case (where people nudge your chair with their knees from behind), whether we're on the bus, at the movies, sitting in a classroom, or taking a flight in economy class, the most annoying thing of all is that this so small and petty, yet it can irk you so much. The mere force of one man's knees on the back of your chair is something that is so insignificant, yet it can distract you, anger you and ruin your day.

I can remember two or three times when I asked the person behind me to try to stop pressing his legs into my chair. People in Hong Kong usually comply, but they get annoyed at me for asking. I instinctively avoid little things like that. Walking in the street slowly, talking on the phone loudly, giving people free massages through the back of their chairs... anything that strangers in public would possibly find annoying. I'm sorry if I don't find a person's knees digging into my back pleasant, however, because I try to consider others, I (wrongly) expect the same in return and a mutual relationship between me and the community is proven to be non-existent nearly everyday.