6 - 'Clinginess'

You know who I'm talking about, right?

I'm talking about the clingy type. They constantly ask to hear about your opinions and your life. They follow you everywhere you go like a puppy. They tell you about their life because they think you care about them enough to listen. They find every opportunity to talk to you at school or at work. They try to sit next to you when you're at the movies or when you're eating in a restaurant and worse yet, they calculatingly forbid others from taking 'their' place. Even in the privacy of your own home, they call you up, they text you, they talk to you online, they comment on your blogs, they come over in the morning, just to be with you, just to talk to you, just to live alongside you.

I'm talking about the clingers.

So, the inspiration behind today's thoughts. On Halloween night, I went out with a few friends of mine to have a few drinks and a bit of dance. Within our little group of friends was one girl and five guys, one of the guys of which was the girl's boyfriend. He wasn't much of a dancer, probably insecure for whatever reason, and he stood there, stiff as a rock, while the loud music played. I asked him if he'd like to go have a drink with me at the bar if he wasn't going to dance with us, but he said he was going to stay with his girlfriend. And I just found it really weird. He was a clinger.

I've known several couples in my time, and there's always a few couples where either one of the partners is clingy. I can also think of a clingy friend or two, and I can sadly say that I know I have been clingy on many occasions. While it's very kind and affectionate to get so attached to someone so deeply, one still needs to find the balance between treasuring a relationship and over-treasuring it.

The brutal truth is, it's only annoying when the feeling isn't mutual; when one starts to cling on to the other with a significantly greater intensity. My most loyal friends and I, I reckon, have formed a variety of different systems that work for us, in order for us to interact smoothly and avoid the least arguments. Even though I am deeply satisfied (and incredibly fortunate) having them to brighten up my world, I at least try to keep an open mind toward those that try to lay the brickwork for a new and friendly road into my heart. I try to look at the good side of people (that's irony for you on this blog) and I find that bonding with other humans is the most humane thing people do in the world (as I am, again, ironically trying to do with you, using this blog).

In my experience, however, I have had a few clingers and it has been difficult rejecting them, not rejecting them per se, but just trying to incorporate my feelings of you're coming on a bit too strong into my everyday body language, by intertwining my arms across my chest to barricade myself from them, slouching as a sign of boredom and averting my gaze to demonstrate disinterest. It isn't easy telling them to take a step back and turn it down a notch using honest words, but I guess clingers are simply something we all have to deal with at some point in our lives, advisably in a friendly and humane manner for the sake of human compassion, or perhaps in fear of karma biting us in the ass.