209 - 'Pink Elephants on Parade' from Dumbo

(I did a guest post today on Marcy's blog, Tales of the Kids, if anyone wants to check that out. It's about ice cream and mothers being weird. Maybe you could relate?)

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This segment of Disney's Dumbo always creeps me out. In the film, after accidentally getting drunk, Dumbo (the elephant with gigantic ears), sees pink elephants multiplying, playing their trunks like trumpets, marching, stepping on each other, growing, shrinking, talking, singing(?), morphing into snakes, camels, and different forms of transportation, changing color, figure-skating, floating on water, dancing with electricity, performing salsa, belly-dancing, and generally being weird in every possible way in the strangest sequence Disney's ever put together.

In some ways, I love the scene, sometimes I think it's plain genius. It's so fantastical and everything that is so random works together cohesively in an inexplicable fashion.

But most of the time, I find it really, really, really creepy.

101 - Singing badly

There's a person in my class who is oblivious to the fact that he is annoying. I preach honesty but I don't have the heart to tell him to his face that he sounds horrible when he sings. I'm absolutely positive he knows I hate his singing. There's no way he can't take the hint. I walk away, push him away, turn to someone else for mercy.

I ignore his singing, I don't join in. I shake my head in irritation, but he seems to think I'm joking, which only gives him greater incentive to sing further because it's apparently funny.

Everyone else in my class can't stand the way he sings randomly around others. They're not songs that everybody knows and they're not songs we typically listen to. He's tone deaf, and he can't keep the rhythm or the beat. He's off key, and can't remember the lyrics or how the tune goes sometimes. He tries to create instrumental noises with his mouth and thinks his whole performance sounds good.

I used to think I sounded good, until someone told me to record my own singing on a tape. Boy, I sounded bad, and I never thought I would sing again. In the past year or so, though, I have a new-found confidence in singing. I believe I can join in with the gang at the karaoke place if I don't lose complete control of myself. Singing is fun, at the karaoke place, if you know you sound okay. But it's not good to sing at school, for Heaven's sake. It's not good to sing when you don't sound good.

The person in my class also has boundary issues, verbally and physically, a whole range of them. When he sings, he sticks his head closer to yours to maximize amplitude, moves his chair closer to you to offer a greater acoustical advantage. Every time he starts singing, I feel my guts twisting because I want to be bold and tell him to shut up, but wow, I have a bigger heart than I initially thought I had.

Do you know anyone like this? Do you hate it too?

2 - Staring at others through a car window

So, the other night, I was on the bus, on my way home, and somewhere along the way, the bus stopped at a traffic light. I was tiredish and had had a long day, so I sort of had my head facing downwards for most of my ride. I looked out the window to check I hadn't missed my stop, but all I saw was a businesswoman of some sort, staring at me through the window of the taxicab she was in. She was dressed up all fine and had glasses that made her look all professional. The way she looked at me with such curiosity suddenly made my seat uncomfortable and it was just... creepy.

Why are people so interested in looking at me?

Each time I catch someone ogling at me like a newborn baby, they make me feel so incredibly self-conscious when all I'm doing is innocently trying to get from point A to point B. They're looking at me and I think to myself: Does she think my hair's too shaggy? Do I have ink on my face? I knew I shouldn't have worn this color. Do I look weird? Are my eyes too big? Is my mouth too thin? Is that old guy with the fanny pack... checking me out?

It's not like I'm a famous celebrity that actually deserves window-based attention (kudos to those of who can make out the celebrity kissing in the car — 'make out' pun totally intended). There really is nothing mildly interesting about my appearance and I actually think it's slightly uncivil to make people feel so uncomfortable by glaring at them like that.

And my standpoint regarding this issue does not only include the creepy people that invade your privacy through your car window. Even if it's the occasional 3-year-old toddler gawking at you on the train with those cute, innocent eyes, I still firmly believe that kids should be taught by their parents and teachers that staring is every bit as bad as pointing. But hey, that may just be me.

In conclusion, it's disturbing. If you do have this worrisome habitude, kindly take a nap, read a book or play a game on your iPhone instead. And if you find yourself being stared at, there are a few things you can do.

(1) Stare back and scare them away. I mean, you can be creepy too, you know? Personally, I would recommend black eyeliner to give yourself a slightly more Gothic look. (2) Move out of the creeper's line of sight. (3) Start crying and make him/her feel guilty. (4) Ask him/her a question. Quickly take out a notepad, jot down an inquiry and slap it on the window. Do you like my shirt? Have you seen the new Saw movie? Obama or McCain?

(5) Or you could just make a general comment that concerns the creeper. I looooove your fanny pack.