202 - Holding the door open

Great Britain has struck me as very, very British - it has totally lived up to the expectations of this Filipino-Chinese, Hong Konger, international student.

For example, it is true that it is habit to talk about the weather at any point of any conversation, and also, to ask each other how the other is doing thirty thousand times in a mere five days.  Tea is consumed very often, and they always make sure to wait until everybody has arrived, or has sat down, or has been served, before we begin to jab our forks into our food. All English mothers are fabulous cooks, all English fathers 'know people', and all English kids love to go out and party. Everybody loves fish and chips, sausages, potatoes, pies, pastries, roast beef, bacon, baked beans, beer, ale, and cider. Everyone knows how to make knitwear, bake cookies, garden, navigate through London via the Tube, and perform a variety of different regional English accents. English people are also very informative (and very proud to be informative) when it comes to cricket, rugby and soccer. (Not football, I write in American English.) Contrary to popular belief, though, Prince Charles, The Beatles, Gordon Brown, David Beckham, and Her Majesty, The Queen, aren't that much of a big deal in Britain - in fact, I don't think I've heard them come up in conversation once in the last three months.

One particular social rule in this country, that is lightyears beyond just 'taken for granted', is the natural obligation you have to hold the door open after you have ambled through the doorway. It is a very British thing, because throughout my time here at university, I've observed how the Italians, the Koreans and even the Caucasian Australians don't seem to possess this behavioral principle these English people have obviously spent thousands of years practicing, ever since the last Celt that entered the medieval tomb had to tactfully roll the giant circular stone back to its original position to seal the entrance.

Back in Hong Kong though, nobody expects the people of the cold-blooded public to hold the door out for others in schools, restaurants, or shopping malls. It's like only the hotels and five-star restaurants consider the hazard that is the automatically closing door. On a side note, do you think there are any insurance companies out there that sell door-slamming-into-you insurance? I think it would be a very marketable idea. I mean, with treatment for nosebleeds and stubbed toes being such cheap medical regimens to compensate, there's plenty of room to overcharge clients.

Sigh, I hate it now when people hold the door open. They are always getting in my way. Unless you're telekinetic, there is no way you can avoid obstructing the path on which I'm walking. I never hold the door open for anybody here because everyone else does it too much. Everyone slows down as they get to the door, demonstrating a continuous domino effect of stupidity from 7 in the morning until 10 at night because they're all so desperate to do a good Samaritan-deed. Oh, you held the door open for me! You're my hero! 

What about the door, huh? When does it get done a favor? Can't two sides of a door hinge be brought together anymore nowadays as they were intended to be?

I just open a door and walk through it quickly, and expect whoever's coming through behind me to think fast, walk quicker or slower, and adjust the movement of his/her arm extension. If they get slammed in the face, it's only because they have slow reactions - not my bad. *shrugs*

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I also hate it when people don't say 'thank you' after you hold the door for them. And when people try to pull open a door that's meant to be pushed. If you choose to, posts #21 and #30 are there for your viewing.

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21 - Too little or too much gratitude for someone holding the door

So, of course, when I hold the door out for someone, I like to be thanked for it. I think I recognize when people hold it out for me, but I can't really remember. I trust that I do because people had accused me of being impolite before. Since then, saying 'please', 'thank you' and 'excuse me' has become quite instinctive for me, and it's like more of a reflex now. I benefit from an act of kindness and bam: 'thank you'. Someone thanks me and boom: 'you're welcome'. Oops, 'sorry'.

When I'm out walking around and there so happens to be a door that I can hold for a stranger behind me leaving or entering, I'll hold it for them because I can and why not? In Hong Kong, there's a general lack of common courtesy, and in my experience, people don't say thank you when you hold the door for their benefit. I didn't have to hold it out for anyone, so people could at least acknowledge the fact that I took two to five seconds out of my life saving them the time and energy they need to open the damn door themselves.

Ugh. So that's underappreciation. On the other end of the spectrum, there's also overappreciation. I took a tour of a university this summer in Canada, and our tour had around twenty people, with me consistently at the front of the pack insightfully asking the tour guide questions. Although, as we were moving around, every few minutes or so we would come to a door that needed to be opened. In total, we must've gone through close to fifty doors and me, being polite, being expected to be gentlemanly, I held the door almost every chance I could, but I actually got annoyed at hearing 'thank you' too many times, from nineteen other people, going through fifty doors. It's just a door for Christ's sake. Sssshhhh....

I guess after having lived in Hong Kong for most of my life, I'm used to the cold and bitter silence that follows my every warm, kind act. I prefer the politeness, but um, I don't really know what to think about too many people being grateful too many times.