196 - One word: __________!

I never quite understood this emphatic technique, placing a single adjective after a certain place, person or thing, to stress how great a quality that place, person or something has.

"Last year's Christmas party, one word - Amazing!"
"Russell Peters, one word - Fuuuh-uuuh-neee!"
"The argument they had last night, one word - draaaamaaaa!"

How do you reduce the gravity of a given incident to a single adjective?

Have you ever heard someone say that, only to give you a different number of words instead?

"Oh, my God. That dissertation I did last night, one word - a headache!"
"There are only two things you need to pass these exams - hard work, and more hard work!"
"You know what those kindergarten kids reminded me of? One word - Lord... of... the... Flies..."

Even "awe-inspiring", and "cringe-worthy" are stretching it with the hyphen.

I also never understand how anything can be "epic", "legendary" or have "biblical" proportions. That's an insult to Odysseus, Jesus, Moses, Beowulf, the kingdom of Atlantis, and the Knights of the Round Table. I understand people are trying to be creative. I will admit it's a step up from having a "nice" day, "good" times, and "great" fun. 

But, uh, nothing in our reality is truly epic or legendary, unless you climbed Everest or can swallow your own nose or something. 

And when you begin with "One word...", you're effectively saying three words, are you not? Maybe people should disclaim it, like this:

"Three words - One word - Cringe-worthy!"

And then we can take it a step further:

"Five words - Three words - One word - Brilliant!"
"Seven words - Five words - Three words - One word - Crazy!"
"Nine words - Seven words - Five words - Three words - One word - A pain in the arse!"

98 - Skipping school

Hello, world. It's Monday night, and it's about to hit midnight. I didn't sleep last night and I only managed to catch around fifteen minutes of snooze in the past twenty-four hours. I don't plan on sleeping tonight either.

Yesterday, I had this essay to write, and tonight, I have three more. I would skip school to just get some rest and have more time to work on these, but I've been skipping too often now, for my own standards.

I think I have skipped school around twenty times so far since this school year began in September 2008, maybe been late a couple of times? To those studious, responsible teens out there, good for you on making it to school everyday, it's a bloody achievement and I could never do that. (I'm not being sarcastic.) I wake up in the middle of the afternoon on a school day and the first thought that comes to my mind is, "damn it, Michael, you lazy piece of shit." I loathe myself, and I hate myself for not going to school. There are several others in my class that also decide to pass when they're not feeling too eager about getting educated. I don't like their attitude to school, I don't think they should be wasting their parents' money. They often consider school to be a lameass obstacle in life that you have to get through before you reach the good stuff, the better stuff, the dream. I say, if the goals you have are not attainable through school and education, then piss off and go chase the dream. What on Earth are you still coming in to school for four days out of five for?

My aspirations can only be reached if I study, so as one of my New Year resolutions last month, I decided that I would try to stop skipping school so often. It's working a lot better than the past few years, but there's still room for improvement.

On the other hand, knowing the wide range of readers this blog attracts, there are bound to be a bunch of you that say that I should not stress so much over homework and friends at school. To be honest, I understand wholeheartedly. I hate people who think school is everything, who think that their role in life in this moment in time is and only is a student's role. Nothing else in life matters much, such as money, material goods, love and sex, leisure time and/or a social life altogether. These 'nerds' need to grow up and live a little.

I just felt that I needed to iterate that because I don't want to be seen as one of them.

But really, as I said, skipping school is just something that creates a pang in my backside. If you care about school, stop skipping it. If you don't care about school, quit. Stop wasting our teachers' time which could be better spent on present students, stop making us wonder and worry about why you're absent, and get a job, because if you ain't studying right now, by law and social standards, you should be working. Do something productive, stop wasting your life.

88 - Being too slow

It's Chinese New Year this week and I have the whole week off school. My friends and I went out for dinner and drinks after school yesterday and had a good time celebrating the fact that school's out. The restaurant-café we went to was a pretty cool place to eat. They had Monopoly and Jenga and a Foosball table, cards, board games, an Xbox, a Wii, comic books and manga, magazines, anything you would ever want to do to pass the time when waiting for food, or to entertain yourselves while you eat. They have several of those sorts of businesses here in Hong Kong and they're quite fun to dine at.

I was playing a game of Chinese checkers with my friends and a game that would normally take ten minutes amongst four people took much longer, or, at least, felt much longer. They weren't paying attention to the game, they were taking a long time to think, much longer than necessary since there were three other people who had to take turns, too. Thinking ahead about your next move would benefit everybody and save each player's time. The monotony was so intense I had to step out of the place to breathe and calm down. I hate it when another person takes forever to make their move in games, and I hate it when it's because they aren't really focusing on it.

Being slow isn't good. I hate it when someone slow gets in my way while I'm walking on the street. People who type slow on the computer for work, when chatting, people who take forever to reply to e-mails, texts, Facebook messages or invitations to an event, people who run slowly in a basketball game, people who read slowly in language classes, people who talk endlessly at meals and take forever to eat, people who have to try on fifty different clothes at a store when shopping, cab drivers that take their sweet time transporting you, restaurants that take ages to serve you food, buses or trains that take forever to arrive at the station, movies that don't start at the specified time printed on the ticket, cashier ladies that need time to count the change, teachers that go off on tangents, speak monotonously and take a long time to present material, all get on my nerves so much.

There are some individuals that even preach relaxedness, and say that walking slowly allows you to enjoy life more, to absorb the environment around you, to appreciate the trees and the fresh air and the sounds of birds in the morning time. They say that talking slowly in heated debates help get the point across clearer, they prevent us from losing our tempers, they can enunciate words properly, and we can admire how calm their words are. They say they would rather have the job done right than have the job done quickly. They say being in a rush is too stressful, that there's too much pressure.

I prefer fast to slow. It's more efficient, and people can always learn how to get the job done right and quickly. I'm constantly annoyed at how slow some people can be. I don't know how they get anything done, because there's just so much to do out there that's just... waiting to be done.

That's just it: slowness makes people wait. I tell you, you can do everything quickly if you just get used to being proficient in life. Just because I'm not sitting at a dining table and, instead, running around on the streets doesn't mean I can't have breakfast every morning before school. People can enunciate quickly and properly if they work at it, people can train themselves to be fast thinkers. Controlling the temper is another issue. And no, it's not stressful. What's stressful is when you're pressed for time at work, at school, in life, and if you handle stuff faster, you'll naturally become stress-free. Wouldn't you agree? I mean, how many times have you been stressed out by someone or yourself being slow? How many times has procrastination bitten you in the ass? We always prefer sooner to later. The early bird gets the worm, right?

Slow people, do you hate it too?

76 - Feeling sorry for your own bad grades

"Just keep it to yourself, for God's sake. There's nothing we can do to make you achieve better if you tell us about your bad grades. And if you're thinking that perhaps Michael would like to listen to and understand your school-related doubts and fears, I get that and I can do that for you. But sorry, I find grades superficial. If I were like you, I could go on for days analyzing my report card, but I'm not. I'm not saying don't care. I'm saying don't worry. Just shut up and do better next time." - Michael, online, talking to one of his classmates in July '08.

I'm on the fence with this one. On one hand, I tend not to worry about life in general, and I believe there are bigger, better things to worry about than school/grades/education, if you were to worry about something, that is. I mean, they're numbers and letters on a sheet.

Sure, on the other hand, grades determine the future, in terms of your career, thus, your salary, therefore, your standard of living. Grades reflect your academic ability and your intelligence and your sense of responsibility ... But come on, what is the use of complaining about it and exaggerating such superficiality right now? Tell me, what is the point in you telling me all that crap, and thinking about all that in your head?

If you're just going to sit there and complain, and not take action to improve, then you're wasting my time. Quit worrying and start caring about the future by taking action in the present.