216 - 'Half empty' means pessimism, 'half full' means optimism

I would say it's half full.

It means I'm an optimist???

Oh, yay! I feel so positive and good and happy, and that makes me want to smile and laugh and I want to draw with crayons and paint things orange and yellow, and I want to make pancakes, and serve them with ice-cream, and eat cotton candy and candy apples at the carnival, and I want to go prancing in the meadow barefoot, and pick blueberries and daffodils, and pick up ladybirds, and lie on the grass with my teddy bears and watch the clouds go by, and spot a rainbow!  And tomorrow, we can go to the beach with our shovel and pail, and build sandcastles for our rubber duckies to live in, and we can hold hands as we kick the water on the seashore, and we'll blow bubbles at each other, and tie up each other's hair, and drink pink lemonade, and exchange home-made presents when we get home!

Because after all, if I see the glass as half full, then that means I'm an optimist.

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I would say it's half empty.

It means I'm a pessimist?

Oh, no. What ever am I going to do now that I'm a pessimist? I don't feel like doing anything anymore, I don't feel like getting up in the morning, I just want to bang my head on the wall, stick needles in my voodoo dolls, finish one bottle of vodka every two hours, and start a bonfire with my eucalyptus scented candles, and listen to 80's screamo and dark-cabaret, while I put my chains and crucifix around my neck, and line my eyes subtly, yet dramatically, in a color that suits my jet black hair, in preparation for dinner with my financially stable, middle-class, normal (in every conceivable way) mom and stepdad. I can't eat too much, though, because it'll mean I feel hunger, but I only feel pain, and I publish my poetry on my MySpace page to express that pain, and I take drugs to relieve that pain, and I cry myself to sleep in pain.

Because after all, if I see the glass as half empty, then that means I'm a pessimist.

Oh. And I cut myself.

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Please, the oldest philosophical postulation in the book is nothing but a depthless triviality that reveals nothing about one's character, so don't you dare ask me that again trying to present to me some awareness that I didn't have before - the glass of water is there, with some water in it, and it doesn't mean anything, and it doesn't enthuse me.

152 - When people get 'bright ideas' when a pen runs out of ink

When pens run out of ink, what are you supposed to do?

I hate shaking them, 'cause I've seen pens splutter all over the place like a guy with a terrible lisp. Sort of like cannons loaded to the muzzle with ink, people unintentionally blow an all-consuming blackness everywhere at a single discharge. That's really idiotic, and I hate seeing it happen, and I hated it when it happened to me the first and only time. Of course, the solution is to keep the cap on, then shake it. Sometimes, the ink's simply stuck in the barrel.

And what about licking the tip of the pen?

I was watching one of my classmates do this during an exam, and I couldn't help but smile to myself as I looked at him because... it's just stupid. You're licking the pen. Licking, the pen.

What has this world come to?

After the exam, he had blue ink on his lips and his tongue, and I had to fight hard not to laugh. It's so funny what some people do sometimes without even knowing it. I just think it's such a ridiculously bad habit a lot of people have, and unless something is edible (or sexual), I don't think you should lick anything.

Licking a pen... jeez.