170 - Having no common sense

Just recently, I discontinued my post as a bartender in a Belgian restaurant. I was so good by the end of the three months in which I worked that a part of me didn't want my first ever job to surcease. The restaurant I worked at was already a little bit understaffed, and I felt like I was abandoning a team, like an integral cog in the Belgian machine.

Seeing as this company has treated me well, I agreed to help train this one guy who was hoping to replace me in the bar. He came in for a lunch shift to try out, because lunch is an easier time to go through everything than dinner, due to fewer customers. I thought it would be fun for me, to run through all the morning, afternoon and closing duties with him, to guide him, and to encourage him, and to observe, in an evident way, how much I actually learned in the short space of three months.

By the end of the lunch hour, though, I wanted to tear my hair out.

Speaking honestly, and by that, I mean without exaggeration: he was soooooooooo bad at this job. He would open a bottle of still water, pour a glass of Coke and produce a cup of coffee, and for every little thing, he would bring it to my face and ask me, "Is this okay?"

Uh, hello? It's a glass of Coke. You put ice in a short glass, pour the Coke in, and place a slice of lemon on top. Easy, quick and simple.

As for the coffee, you get the jug of filtered coffee, pour it in a coffee cup, place it on a saucer with a small coffee spoon. A bit more complex, but nothing a full-grown man cannot perform, right?

But come on... to open a bottle of water? You get a bottle opener, position it on the bottle cap in any number of ways, apply some pressure to achieve some leverage, until the cap pops right off. Voilà, the bottle of water has been accomplished. Not exactly rocket science, now, is it?

For each and every small detail, he would ask me to confirm that it was okay. But you know what the funny thing was?

The funny thing was that the stuff he brought to the pass were not okay. He put iced lemon tea in a short glass, when the diameters of the lemon wheels are practically the same as the height of the glass. Where's the fun of poking three lemon slices to the bottom of a short glass that's already filled to the brim with ice?

And why would you place a lemon slice garnish at the bottom of a glass of Coke? Does that not defeat the purpose of using it as a garnish? It goes: ice, Coke, lemon... not lemon, ice, Coke. Can you remember that? Is that going to be alright for you to handle?

And you know, even your still water has fault in it, because the order asked for sparkling water. The two words are quite differently spelled, maybe you have ADHD?

And listen to this... He poured the milk, and the brown sugar, into the coffee, for the customer, before he served it. Some people may not want milk, some people may not want brown sugar, and everyone doesn't want you to stir their coffee for them. They might think you're poisoning their drinks.

Oh, my God, I thought these things were common sense??? I THOUGHT THESE THINGS WERE COMMON-DUH!-SENSE. You don't have to work in F&B at all to know these sorts of things. All you need is a brain.

It's funny because the trainee told me that he prepared well for this job. He told me he's worked in a few places before, and has taken a bartending course.

You don't need to take a course to tend bar. So, what, if you memorize two hundred cocktails? Chances are people are going to ask you to pour a beer, or get them a glass of Coke, and, uh, maybe have a chat? Bartending is not that glamorous of a job, and it's not always about fancy bottle juggling and mixing drinks. 98% of the time, you pour a beer, or you get them iced water. So, what the Hell, if you memorize two hundred cocktails? And if your school is so good, tell me, is that how they taught you to serve iced lemon tea at the Bartending Academy?

The job is about customer service, and confidence, and quick thinking, and you can't learn these things at school.

But most important of all, and I suspect the case is the same for all fields of work, to be a bartender, it requires common sense. Imagine if you were a customer, and serve drinks like you're serving your own mother. All you need is horse sense, and the rest is simple.

16 - Saying my blog's not funny enough

So, I occasionally get a little bit of criticism concerning my blog, and today, someone told me that I'm not being funny and witty enough on mine.

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Omelette.
Omelette who?
Omelette funnier than some people may think I am and on a serious note, I took it as a very personal insult, because I know I try too hard to display my awesome levity. (Self-deprecating humor. Hahaha.) I honestly haven't paid much attention to how funny I'm trying to be, but you know, I have to feel in the mood for it, I have to have the cogs in my head working quick enough and the sarcasm meter pointed somewhere high.

But for my blog to be acknowledged for not being funny enough really flips my lid, blows my fuse, gives me kittens, drives me up the wall, drives me crackers, drives me bananas, oh, I'm sorry, am I boring you because I'm not funny enough?

From now on, I will strive to sharpen my wit, and show my good sense of humor. I mean, I know I seem like I take things too seriously, because I get angry at things that are meant to be funny (like school pranks).

But the fact that I felt bad 'cause I fell to the ground in maths class isn't a sine of me not being funny, or not ever having sum fun. To judge me by my blog is just mean because I'm a far more complex fellow than just a blogger. I'm positive that there is, in fact, an inverse relationship between how 'serious' I am on my blog and how carefree I really am in real-life. I'd like to add that humor is a natural thing for me, as easy as 3.1415926535... But if I was to derive whether I wanted to be serious or be funny for the rest of my life, I would definitely pick being serious. If that makes me a negative person because I just can't have a laugh, then so be it, because at least I know I'll continue being rational and real.

Can my friend honestly think that I'm not funny? Cosecant.

Anyway, my point is that I'll try to integrate more of my witticisms into my blog. Get it? My buh-log.

By the way, it's getting quite chilly here in Hong Kong. If I wasn't typing this post, my fingers would be a lot number. It's getting so cold in the morning-time, that it's making it extremely hard to wake up. To solve this problem, I can either sleep earlier, or I can sleep late, wake up late and end up rushing to school. I think I'm going to sleep earlier, 'cause in my mind, it goes rise over run.

Besides, I'm really getting tired of all these puns, so I'll draw the line there (probably should've made some graphing joke). Thank you all for following my trains of thought for the past fifteen days! I bet you're all tired from all of these puns too. In great apundance, puns just ain't punny.

(To my friend who said my blog posts weren't funny enough: I hope my blog will satisfy you from now on. Thank you for reading as well, and thanks for trying to tip me. You were actually suggesting some pretty interesting blog ideas, but this was the best inspiration you could provide and I know you saw this coming. Hah.)