228 - Tripping my grandmother

When I was eleven, our entire family, around twelve or thirteen of us altogether, went to this amusement park in Hong Kong called Ocean Park. The park has rollercoasters, animal exhibitions, dolphin and sea lion performances, carnival stalls, and a four-story aquarium containing over 2,000 fish. We had just finished having a buffet lunch at the seaview restaurant they have there, perched up on the side of a small hill, and as most of my relatives had to go to the washroom to avoid having to find one elsewhere later on, my grandmother and I walked out of the restaurant first, and strolled down the hill.

As we were walking down, it started to get crowded as we were gradually entering the general park area, and this woman who was talking on her phone walked right in front of us. Somehow the woman's foot had made contact with my grandmother's foot, and my grandmother had suddenly fell down face first. The woman on her phone took no notice of it, she had no idea, and she just continued ambling aimlessly, zigzagging along the path.

Luckily, my grandmother had stuck out her hands in front of her to cushion her fall and prevent major injru to her face, but there was still a tiny sliver of skin that had come off the bridge of her nose on account of the glasses she was wearing. Her spectacles had basically scratched her nose, and this made her dorsum bleed. It was a very small wound, so don't let your imaginations run too wildly.

I helped her up, brought her to a bench, got out some tissues and water, and helped her clean it up. By the time the rest of my family had arrived, the bitch (if I may use that word... read my last post) who tripped my grandmother was already gone. My aunt asked me where the woman went, and I shamefully said, "I don't know".

From that day on, I never ever give a damn about what public civilians feel or think if they do me wrong. Before that day in that park, I was always very submissive, and didn't mean to cause any dispute should someone run into me hard in the streets, or if a cashierlady gave me the less change than I should receive. These things need to be called out on, and next time someone trips my grandmother, if there is a next time, the perpetrator is going to pay.

173 - The use of the word 'addicting'

There is no object in the world that can 'addict' you, they are addictive.

And so many people use both forms of the word to describe the most mundane things, like this chocolate, or that dip, World of Warcraft, Facebook, the Twilight series, or the color blue. Shut up, it's not nicotine, heroin or cocaine, so stop exaggerating your weakness for it. You love it, we get it, and that's enough of your general opinion.

114 - When your best friend says that it's time to end your friendship

It's Monday morning now, and I am not really ready to hand in all of my homework due in today, but I think I can get by today and the rest of this week just fine, just as long as I keep my mind focused on what really matters in the long run. There has been one thing, however, that has been distracting me these past couple of days, and in addition to making my thoughts linger away from light diffraction and organic chemistry, this distraction has also hindered my ability to feel genuinely glad to see my friends at school, impeded my ability to feel truly happy for the birthday girl, and to just look on the positive side of things generally, with or without the influence of alcohol.

On this blog, I try to steer away from topics that are too touchy. This is subjective of course, but to me, this includes anything to do with marital affairs, sexual orientations and racial issues, as I am a bisexual who has divorced parents, and has learned the hard way how sensitive people can be to color and creed. But one thing that has always remained important to me was my friendship with this one individual, and this will mark the first time I ever talk about him in my blogging career.

We met in September 2002, and while I offered him a seat at my table in our first high school class, he offered me some of his food at our first ever high school lunch. Since then, we have talked for thousands of hours on the phone over the past six to seven years, and I share with him, a lot of memories, heart-to-heart conversations,and inside jokes, as I'm sure you know how typical best friends usually do.

Oh, but last Wednesday, he called me and told me that he didn't want to be friends with me anymore. He said he has grown to hate me because I go against everything he ever believes in. He wanted to 'fix' me, to make me see the 'right' way to live. He says the way I see the world is naive and impure, and while I see his rationale, at this point in time, I don't see how I can change the way I approach life to resemble his philosophies.

I am sorry that I don't care about anyone else but myself, that I am an egoist, and an egotist. I apologize for being so hypocritical, so ironic, for telling others about what I hate when you have a hatred for me that goes so much deeper. I am sorry you have had to keep all your secrets to yourself for all these years, I know it must have been hard at times because you cared about me, yet I was so difficult. And I'm sorry if I care more about money than the children in Africa.

But just because our minds don't run the same way doesn't mean we have to throw all that away. It's unfair for you to give me just twenty minutes to absorb what you have been hiding for six years. You can't just end it, because I put all my trust in you, and my care for you is all the genuine caring I can muster.

But if you want it to finish there, then so be it. As you said, perhaps our paths will cross again some day.

This isn't the first time this has happened. Various people, in my old school, in my current school, and the school I went to in between those two other schools, have all ended their interactions with me. They block online communication, they refuse to reply to my invitations to social gatherings of ten or more, they ignore my text-message, they don't pick up my calls, and they walk by me, and don't care. And to be honest, I don't care either, I mean, why bother if they won't reciprocate?

But there's something extremely wrong about breaking it off with my best friend. I feel a hundred percent guilty about this one, because in my eyes, there was very little wrong with him, and I must attribute this resolution to my own personality flaws. Sigh.

This has happened to you before, right?
Don't you just hate the feeling too?