Tuesday, October 28, 2008

1 - Sending impromptu invitations

How many times have you ever been invited to an event — whether it be a family member's birthday party, or perhaps some hangout time with your friends at the mall, or the opportunity to go to a rock concert with your sibling, or a game of tennis with your co-workers, or possibly just a simple evening meal with your spouse — but the invitation was sent to you at the very, last, minute?

Yes, I'm sure we've all received a hasty invitation as such that made us feel unfairly treated. On the one hand, you don't feel like accepting the invitation because you worry it will come off as if you have nothing better to do but wait for that stupid invitation. Or perhaps you simply don't want to accept the invitation since you feel the other person is being insensitive and selfish, inviting you to go somewhere at the last minute as if you're some sort of afterthought.

But on the other hand, you want to join in with your relative's birthday celebrations, and you want to watch that movie with your friends at the mall, and you want to eat at that fancy restaurant downtown, even if it's with your charmingly improviso wife.

And in the case where you just can't accept the invite because you've made prior arrangements, all you can think is that it's all the host's fault for not informing you earlier. You feel unfairly treated, and insignificant compared to the other people that will show up at the occasion, since they, of course, received their invitations weeks ago. And as you carry out your previously arranged plans, the idea of being left out of that other thing is all that comes to mind.

And the next time you see your brother/sister, it angers you to think that while you promised to hang out at your friend's place, your sweet sibling was jumping up and down at the most bitchin' concert ever. And the following day at work, you might get tired of hearing all about your boss' swift backhand that day - while you were, at the time, bringing your sweet mother out to lunch. You try not to show your frustration, but either way, the thoughts just don't leave your mind that easily.

Here's a piece of advice to all of you who have this insensitive habit: Don't surprise your beloved family and friends with sudden invitations. People may have other dates too and they don't appreciate the way in which you so impetuously invite them to your social occasions off-the-cuff. Spontaneity sure is thrilling, but in this day and age where knowledge is so vital, people are definitely more appreciative of being informed with more time to prepare.

Please put other people's lives into consideration before you propose an event that you want to happen. That way, you might actually convince more people to join you.


Anonymous said...

I solved that problem years ago, I don't send invitations, so they're never late.


random thoughts from a random person said...

haha..good solution argentum!! btw...i don know abt u...but if d bf/spouse sends you an invitation which is like an afterthought/ last minute thingy.....it would be time to do some serious thinking!!! :P

Anonymous said...

thank you michael. I'm sure my parents will really appreciate that :) I know that I am so lucky to have them, and I am thankful for that everyday. most of my friends don't even have families, their parents kicked them out and abandon them. my parents let my best friend live with us because he had no where else to go, and now they consider him part of the family. my dad actually calls him his other son. haha. so family can be a broad term sometimes. you're also very lucky to have good friends who are there to help you out when you need it.. I think that it would be a good idea for you to create another blog where you can write what you want to write. I'd like to read your other thoughts too, besides what you hate. although I do love your blog, I am interested to hear the serious side of you. you're a good writer, and it's always good to get the experience with writing in different "personas" because sometimes you may want to write more seriously and other times you may find that you'd rather write a different way. you should definitely give it a try!

J.J. in L.A. said...

Several years ago, a cousin invited me to a New Year's Eve dinner. She called me on the afternoon of December 30th. I was happy to tell her I was going to be with my boyfriend. I found out later that she had invited my brother weeks in advance. I'm sure he told her to invite me. I'm glad I had an excuse not to go.

missykimmy said...

OH this just happened to me this year! March, I think.

There's this friend I've known since I was six years old and he was having a PARTY for his 18th birthday. I was a little hurt to see that I wasn't invited. Even my best friends were invited!

So one Saturday, a week before the party, he called my best friend to tell her that he had to give her the invitation card. I was with her at the time, so I said, 'let me come along, I'd like to make him uncomfortable'. Very mean of me, but I had my reasons.

We were walking, my best friend and I, back to her house and I didn't even notice the - let's call him the birthday boy, cross the street to stand right in my way. He was all "I'm so, so, so, so sorry! You're invited to my birthday next Saturday! I'm so sorry, I completely forgot about you! So, so sorry!"

I was speechless. I only said "um, okay." I didn't know he had ACTUALLY forgotten about me.

It wasn't exatly an impromptu invitation, was it? But this post made me think of this , so, yeah.

Anyway, maybe I should have written that on my blog and posted a link here.