Monday, July 6, 2009

166 - Spam e-mails telling me I've won the lottery

So, let me ask you this. Have you ever received anything like this:

Good Day,

My name is Sir Jack Parkinson, I work with the UK Lottery. I am soliciting
your assistance for a swift transfer of 4,528,000 GBP, should you be
willing to assist me in this project, you will be giving me just 40% of
your winnings. Just as a brief, due to my position in the company I can
make it happen that you would be a winner of the above stated

Naturally, every body would like to play a lottery if they are assured of
winning. I am assuring you today to be a winner, please do not take for
granted this once in a life time opportunity as we both stand to
collectively gain from this at the success of the transaction. Should you
be willing to assist me in this transaction please do respond to my
secure e-mail:

Sir Jack Parkinson

What the Hell was 'Sir' Jack Parkinson even knighted for? Offering 60% of lottery winnings to strangers out of the goodness of his heart?

You know, I've probably won the lottery over a thousand times since I got my first e-mail address. I would be the richest man on Earth if all that junk mail was for real. I would have multiple mansions all over the world, I'd drive the big branded cars, I'd fly from place to place in a jet, I'd eat outrageously pricey caviar and drink expensive wine everyday, I'd start my own book publishing company, and my own school, and I would get the newest and the best clothes, the best computer models, the newest games, the VIP passes at concerts, the best medical care, the most impenetrable security to protect me, my family, and my property - to sum it all up, the most wonderful life.

But no, I don't really win the lottery that many times, not even once.

And that's why I hate these e-mails.


Pavitra .... said...

Haha....i have got them too..!
they say i am one of the "shortlisted applicants" for the lottery grand prize..!

Naomi said...

I always get them, but since our old desktop computer is somewhat . . . elderly, it's defense isn't as well as it used to be. The damn things pop up in the middle of my doing anything involving this computer.

Randa said...

I always hate those emails . . . I'm always afraid that one day, it's going to be a scholarship email or something but I'll delete it because it must be a load of crock, right? Right. And then I'm out of money for college...


Naomi said...

My personal favourites are the ones from Nigeria telling me that someone just wants to give me several million. People are stupid.

e u r a said...

I wonder if wealthy philantropists ever send out legit e-mails just to see who is lucky enough to believe it...

Marcy said...

I hate these emails too. I get them all the time and the joke, "Oh - I just won the lottery!" gets old after awhile.

It's a good thing gmail puts these automatically in the spam folder.

Cat said...

Most of my SPAM emails are for Speed Dating websites, Classmates Reunited (as if anyone wants to find me), and offers to enlarge my...ahem...pants area. I wish I could win the pretend SPAM lottery!

Dutch donut girl said...

Ha ha, those e-mails always make me laugh. Especially the Nigerian 419 scams and spam emails are very funny. For some reason they have a habit of using the funniest and oddest fake first and last names (like Sir Jack Parkinson) and their use of the English language borders on comical. But you are right, they can also be very irritating to say the least.

P.S. BTW, I found you via Jodi's blog.