176 - People who argue on Youtube

Whenever I go on Youtube, I never watch a video without once reading a comment. The comments are quite the thing to get you burying your face in your head in shame of being a fellow human being and internet user, but occasionally, you may find some hilarious bits of text because people argue about pretty much everything to do with anything - whether it should've been President Obama or President McCain one year ago, whether it was fair or not that Heath Ledger should win the posthumous Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor (I think it was not), whether we should really blame the eruption of swine flu solely on Mexico, whether Michael Jackson did or did not molest young males at his home resort of Neverland (hasn't this topic been stretching on for a decade too long now?), or whether Kayne West is really getting the comeuppance he deserves for disrespecting Taylor Swift at the Video Music Awards (also painfully stretched out in my opinion).

I find that most of this debate is ridiculous. Which is better: Gossip Girl or 90210? Gay rights or the sacredness of heterosexual marriage? A Tibet that is free, or a Tibet that belongs to China? The best singer was: Adam Lambert? Or Kris Allen? Or Susan Boyle?! Will the Earth really end in December, 2012, according to the Mayan calendar? What exactly caused that solar eclipse? kevjumba or nigahiga? Twilight or Harry Potter? Rafael Nadal or Roger Federer?

Most of the time, commentators contribute their 'carefully' thought-out points underneath movie trailers, news reports, excerpts from television, and even the personal video blogs of some Youtubers; they get so angry as they're arguing about all of the above (and don't even get me started on the multitudinous evolution-creationism altercations that are out there), and for most of the time (bare in mind, I said 'most of the time', not 'all the time'), the arguments aren't relevant, they are not written respectfully, they are not grammatical or punctuated or spelled the right way, they are unjustified, they are not meaningful, and they do not further anybody's understanding of the world around them.

I find it so pointless. You're all anonymous and you're all acting like assholes. You feed off each other's boredom, and amusement at the interlocutor, and it just goes in a vicious cycle.

Come on! Get a grip, Youtube community.

166 - Spam e-mails telling me I've won the lottery

So, let me ask you this. Have you ever received anything like this:

Good Day,

My name is Sir Jack Parkinson, I work with the UK Lottery. I am soliciting
your assistance for a swift transfer of 4,528,000 GBP, should you be
willing to assist me in this project, you will be giving me just 40% of
your winnings. Just as a brief, due to my position in the company I can
make it happen that you would be a winner of the above stated
amount.

Naturally, every body would like to play a lottery if they are assured of
winning. I am assuring you today to be a winner, please do not take for
granted this once in a life time opportunity as we both stand to
collectively gain from this at the success of the transaction. Should you
be willing to assist me in this transaction please do respond to my
secure e-mail: jack.parkinson1960@hotmail.co.uk

Regards,
Sir Jack Parkinson

What the Hell was 'Sir' Jack Parkinson even knighted for? Offering 60% of lottery winnings to strangers out of the goodness of his heart?

You know, I've probably won the lottery over a thousand times since I got my first e-mail address. I would be the richest man on Earth if all that junk mail was for real. I would have multiple mansions all over the world, I'd drive the big branded cars, I'd fly from place to place in a jet, I'd eat outrageously pricey caviar and drink expensive wine everyday, I'd start my own book publishing company, and my own school, and I would get the newest and the best clothes, the best computer models, the newest games, the VIP passes at concerts, the best medical care, the most impenetrable security to protect me, my family, and my property - to sum it all up, the most wonderful life.

But no, I don't really win the lottery that many times, not even once.

And that's why I hate these e-mails.

153 - When websites require long and complicated passwords

I always have very simple, vanilla passwords. They've worked for me for my entire internet life, and I believe it will always continue to do so until some hacker hacks in. I hate it when a website requires you to have upper-case and lower-case letters, a couple of numerals, some punctuation marks and a space. And then to follow up with a listening of a confirmation code, or a reading of an annoyingly warped and illegible CAPTCHA. I just don't want anyone to break into my account. Are all those requirements being demanded of me really necessary?

Uncomplicated passwords are also easier to remember, and easier to type. How much time in the world is spent remembering and typing out persnickety passwords that require you to scout characters on your keyboard, one after another, that are completely different from each other?

How much of a bitch would it be to type 4$Mj@a(D< out every time you wanted to post a reply on a forum?

If you want a completely labyrinthine Daedalian password from me, then I'm not joining your website.

93 - Dirty, disgusting hardware

I'm in a very moody state right now, but I have no idea why. My hair is sort of messy as I've been in bed all day, my back feels like being curved today because I'm too lazy to sit up straight, my whole body feels tired, I'm hungry but not really bothered to go out to the kitchen, my hands and feet are cold but sweaty, my neck aches when I bend it like this and I could really use some company. I really feel like going out right now.

Argh, yuck. I grabbed my mouse just now and there's this grayish grime that's been building up on the left and right clickers. I'm just going to get a tissue to wipe it off... (that's what she said)

It's disgusting how hands sweat so much on keyboards, mouses, phones, game console controllers, iPods, and the like. I hate how keyboards accumulate the greatest mass and variety of filth, everything from hair, through dust, fingernails, staples, ketchup, dandruff and bread crumbs, to tiny paper circles that were punched out with a hole puncher. In my experience, the worst thing to enter the crevices between your keys are just liquids in general, such as tea, water, Coca Cola or coffee. The beverage, together with the other stuff, forms this sticky, yellowish guck, which is just horrible to look at, and unappealing to clean.

What's worse is that time when you come around to cleaning the back of your desktop computer, or to clean the filter in your laptop... Yuck. How dirty and gross is your hardware?