201 - Being forced to write

I watch a television series called Californication. For those of you who don't already know what it's about, the episodes revolve around the personal and professional troubles of a published author. In the show's pilot, the writer is being pressured by his agent to get his next piece of work ready for publishing soon, but the writer finds himself struggling to write a new book. So he makes an attempt. Anything he can put on a piece of paper, he writes it down. Then he throws it away because the idea sucks. He tries again, and then dumps it in the trash once more. He has no choice but to push himself, and trying to push your way through writer's block is what really grinds my gears today.

Writing, whether it be a book, an essay, a blog, a newspaper article, or even a text message, requires many different things - it starts with having an initial idea, and then having the vast pool of words from which you can select the ones that perfectly convey that thought. It needs a quick mind, prolific with ideas, to help you develop your craft, and an easily accessible, diverse group of trustworthy people you can rely on, to give you reliable feedback in case it's needed. Then, a critical eye is good to have after you've finished, to help you go through your work objectively and edit. Maybe this paragraph needs an image to go with it. Maybe I should use the rule of three. Perhaps these words should be italicized, this word should be boldfaced, and this sentence should end with a question mark to make it self-referentially humorous?

All in all, writing sure as Hell takes a lot of hard work. Especially if you want to write humorously, with distinctive flair and unique style, without making any mistakes in spelling, punctuating or grammaticizing. All of this hard work also needs time, time that could've been spent on homework, school work, office work, house work, working out, going out, catching up with an old friend, seeing a movie with the family, learning a new recipe, checking out a new restaurant, or going grocery-shopping at the supermarket. 

Writing takes a lot more than just creative power. It requires inner and superficial knowledge, some honesty, plus experience, experience from which you can draw if you are aiming to write from the heart. Writing also requires a certain level of strategy and socio-cultural awareness, to entertain, captivate and attract readers, and also to avoid angering and/or insulting them too. It requires pride and belief in what you're writing, you need to be courageous and unafraid of being openly or discreetly condemned. It's a demanding hobby/profession.

But at its roots, it is about creative power. Some people can just do it at any point of any day. Some people cannot. Most people.

I am still in school, and I am very familiar with the feeling of having to write about a certain topic before a certain date. Police officers don't know how to bulk up their reports. Businesspeople are finding themselves with blank Powerpoint presentations. Chefs can't put their finger on the perfect ingredient. Teachers regurgitate the same student evaluation thirty times. And bloggers don't know what to say.

Yet it's required of all of us to pull something out of our ass at some point. I have this to talk about now, but what am I going to do next time? Just pass on writing for a few more days?

Tell me, do you hate it too?

10 - Dominating conversations

So obviously, yesterday's post was a bit of a joke. Some people around me do consider me to be a bit too talkative, but I don't think so. For those that didn't catch on yet, I was delibirately writing a short entry yesterday in protest to these wild accusations. I guess now I'll talk about yesterday's and today's at the same time, as they are somewhat similar.

I find people who talk too much, and people who dominate conversations, both annoying, but of course, only when I'm not the one doing the talking, or the dominating. They're different, but the people who talk too much and the people who overpower others in conversations, both have a set of commonalities: a compulsive uncontrollable need to talk, a fair amount of creativity, some irritability brought about by silence, a dash of pride, and most of all, no awareness whatsoever. I'm glad to say that I have recently tried to cut back on talking more than others.

Just to clarify the difference between the two. When you're around a person that 'talks too much', you participate in the conversation too. It's just that their points are really, really long. You experience a surplus in the amount you'd like to know about them, and it's often what we call 'verbal diarrhea' (...mmm). On the other hand, when you're around a person that 'dominates the conversation', you are incapable of joining in the conversation, because their statements are either very loud, or very bold and almost always interruptive. It's like large, unusual, and abrupt diarrhea.

At rare times though, people will actually listen to a conversational dominator like me, but at other times, they're either:
(1) nodding their head at me every two seconds,
(2) laughing for no reason,
(3) asking me "then what happened?" when I've already finished my story,
(4) falling asleep and if I'm lucky, they'll drool, or
(5) they're staring at me with a blank face, which always makes me incredibly uncomfortable, because I think they're picturing me naked (which I really hope is not true) (and there's that creativity I talked about earlier) (...and pride). As you may observe by this list, conversational dominators can get annoyed at all the incessant nodders, the erratic laughers and the possible perverts too! But we probably deserve it for pressing our own lives on to others so much.

I remember a time where I was on the other end of the conversation spectrum, the end where I get talked over and subdued, that is. Since I couldn't possibly make this guy shut up, I took the liberty to observe him and his 'listeners'. The 'listeners' really do drool. And he really is completely unaware that nobody is listening. He was talking about... cars... or stars... I wasn't really sure. I remember it was boring. I also remember several of us trying to speak up, but he would just go on and on. He just wouldn't listen to any of us. It's like diarrhea all over the place.

Anyway, as I mentioned earlier, I'm trying to cut back on talking so much. I don't like seeming insensitive and self-involved. It is strange though. Recently, my friends have been calling me up, starting conversations with me online, finding me at school to talk more often. When you shut up, do people finally notice you've been a lil' quiet? In fact, I used to talk so much that I've had people ask me to fill in the silences when topics are lacking. Guess what?

I hate that too, and that's another story.

So do you hate people that dominate conversations? Is it even possible to convince them not to dominate conversations (refer to blog number 5)? Do you consider 'verbal diarrhea' to be a very vulgar phrase? And how are all of you readers out there? Just thought I might ask you all these questions. I wouldn't want to come across as if I'm talking too much, eh?