Thursday, December 31, 2009

206 - Feeling stuck

Do you ever feel like you're in a situation that you cannot get out of?



It doesn't matter whether the experience feels good or not, it doesn't matter if the people you have around you are agreeable or inharmonious company - it just hurts, and it hurts bad, to stay in the same place, within the same conditions, it just aches, and it chews at your heart slowly, and it lingers in the back of your mind for the entire time, mercilessly, like the universe is laughing at you, mocking you, teasing you, and intentionally throwing more obstacles in your way to obstruct your path in life, like God is laughing at your mistakes and your poor decisions, telling a humorous anecdote at the Table of Heaven, the story of your life right at this moment, all the Cherubim, the Seraphim, the Ophanim,  the Dominions, Strongholds, Powers, and Principalities, the Angels and the Archangels, all snickering at you, and chortling at your miserably mortal mind, throwing their fists on to La Tabella del Cielo, as they howl, Hahaha! Bad move there, Michael!, the rotten revelry that is your life, thriving on the fact that you still, to this day, are struggling like a fish brought out of water, trying to face the world with your pathetic excuse for courage.

Have you ever felt that helpless and inadequate - have you ever felt so unhappy with the cold, hard fact that you will never be able to achieve this, or that you will forever be unable to accomplish that? Have you ever felt the suffocating feeling of walls coming in on you as you try to push them apart? Have you ever felt like the last man standing, fighting against an entire army a hundred times stronger and well-equipped than you and the 5-inch-long dagger you'd much rather use to end your life with instead?

Today, I ask you the following, my readers. Have you ever in your life felt so vulnerable, so incompetent, so powerless, so feeble and forlorn, like you're up a creek without a paddle, so substandard, so sorry, so sad, so remarkably, strikingly stuck?

I hate this feeling I so depressingly describe right now, especially this depressingly so as it is New Year's Eve today. The only way I can face this is to step aside from the source of my distress, and attempt to retrieve the ratiocination that I have so dopily and dreamily displaced. Only by thinking logically, I can engage in active problem-solving - the conundrum is never a conundrum for very long once you get into the right mindset.

What do you think? How do you pull yourself out of the hardening cement? 'Cause I'd like to know.

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That will be all for 2009, my fellow haters. I raise my can of Sprite to 2010 in the hopes that you will raise whatever you're having with the same sentiments, that you, like me, are hoping for good tidings in the new year, academic and professional success, heart-filled times with your closest loved ones, and another chance to live your life individually, properly and happily.

Happy New Year, folks. If you're interested, I've written about my New Year resolution here.

And now, please tell me, do you hate feeling stuck too?

7 comments:

Naomi said...

Yeah, I pretty much always feel stuck, and there is usually nothing I can do about it because I have absolutely no power or voice in certain issues. I can't really help, but don't let it get to you too badly, it just hurts.

RawknRobynsGoneBlogWild said...

Yes, that is pretty much my status quo. Perhaps, it is the human condition. As you suggest, it's all about one's perspective and - I firmly believe - keeping a stash of good chocolate handy.
With love and hate for a better new year,
Robyn

J.J. in L.A. said...

Welcome to my life for 11 days in October. The day the Dr. told me I could leave the hospital, it couldn't happen fast enough. Of course, 'the powers that be' were taking their sweet-@$$ time springing me. It took 8 1/2 hours...the longest 8 1/2 hours of my life! Grr!

Randa said...

I feel like that at times. Usually with other people. I tend to put myself in situations where I feel like I owe people a lot when I really don't. Then I'm stuck in this endless cycle of sadness and wanting to get a way. It's actually one of my New Year's Resolutions - to try and not put myself in these situations and to take myself out of it when I can.

:0]

Happy New Year, Michael. Can't wait to read more from you in 2010!

vilges suola said...

I frequently feel like that, especially at this time of year, for some reason. It always passes. Get something a bit stronger than Sprite, that could help.

gaf85 said...

Michael,
Sometimes we need to identify a problem first and really find its essence.You seem to have done that. Talking about change and then actually making changes in your life is where personal growth begins.
I don't claim to have any of the answers about life but making decisions and correcting my mistakes and taking responsibility for my actions has guided me through some rather challenging times.
I wish you peace my friend.

beads said...

I often got stuck with my own great enemy - myself. What I usually do in order for me to bounce back is to simply find peace inside of ME. Find a place where I could sit back and relax and do some reflection. I might sound too harsh sometimes to myself but I would rather give myself a chance to also embrace the fact that there is this shadow of me that needs to be acknowledge and work out too. A blessed Belated New Year to you! :)