Wednesday, December 3, 2008

37 - Throwing something in the bin

You might be wondering what I could possibly have against throwing something in the bin. Perhaps Michael's gone cuckoo and wants people to throw rubbish on the floor or out the window instead.

No, no, I'm not crazy. (Well, maybe I am. Let's see.) I think that the actual throwing of trash is annoying. Whether the trash enters the bin or not, it really boggles my mind how lazy people can be, lazy to the point where they don't want to travel to the bin to place it in. And if it's not for convenience, it's often for amusement. To see if the rubbish will actually get in the bin is such a petty, unsubstantial, superficial thing to be excited by. Damn it, it's just throwing away the trash!

I also have this slight irritation concerning noise. Whether you manage to project your litter into the trash can or not, it creates a sound. If it lands in, the sound emitted can range from a swish as it brushes along the plastic bag, to a thud thud-thud if it's plasticless, to perhaps a metallic ting if two aluminum cans come into contact for example, to a really disruptive cling clang if you shatter a glass bottle. That's if you get it in. You see, when you miss, there's a greater number of things that usually go wrong.

First, the trash lands on the floor when you miss. That is, in essence, quite stupid. You effectively send something through the air only to litter and not actually dispose of it. Then comes all the bother of going over there to pick up the trash off the ground, which sort of defeats the purpose, doesn't it, if you're doing it out of laziness?

Second, the action of lobbing it in the bin often requires a lot of movement and that makes it distracting, and as I have said in some post before, I hate it when people can't stay still. I believe in subtlety a lot. You see, when there's a bin in a given room, they're likely to be near the door or beside the desk. If it's outdoors, they'll be on the side of the pavement or the corridor or beside the benches. Whatever. The point is: bins are everywhere. If I have rubbish to throw in the bin, I will carefully plan out my steps to come, so I can skilfully pass by the bin and drop my rubbish inside without using much movement. You conserve energy. You conserve the energy required in the case where you miss the bin and have to go over and pick it up. It doesn't draw attention to yourself. The rubbish is bound to end up in the trash. And you feel good! I swear, the cleverly planned out route past the bin will give you a sense of satisfaction that exceeds 'the good feeling' you get from five beautiful slam dunks. Subtlety is the best!

Third and last of all, if you miss, your aim sucks. Even the best pros in the NBA have stats that say that they actually manage to score points for their free throws and three pointers less than 0.6% of the time.
(Was it just me or was the phrase "for their free throws and three pointers" a real mouthful?)

Who are you to believe in your ability to send trash through the air into a bin?
I mean, if you're doing it out of amusement, most certainly, you're one to go pick it up off the ground, return to your original position (or even go back a further distance) and retry your shot. In my opinion, the more times one misses, the greater the magnitude of stupidity that is on display...

Come on. Don't throw things in the bin! (Am I crazy?)


Douglas said...

Hmmmm... I do this all the time. At home. I used to do it at work. I don't do it in public places like malls or other people's offices, though. It is just for "fun" and I don't do it with hard objects that might break a glass object in the trash receptacle, usually just wadded paper.

thumbsUpsmile said...

I guess if the object lands in the bin, I don't mind.

On the other hand, I hate it when people miss and try to cover it up with, "Oh, I suck at basketball" or "the sun was in my eyes".

Anonymous said...

I have a friend who does this all the time... even if he doesn't have anything to dispose of. He picks up a piece of paper, crumples it, throws it. If he misses he walks over, picks it up, throws again. If he misses, he walks over, picks it up, throws again. EVENTAULLY when it goes into the bin he gets really excited and rushes over to the nearest person and begins talking about what an amazing shot he just did, and did you see that it went in on the first try and oh my God do you think I can do it again I bet I can.....