Thursday, December 4, 2008

39 - Avoiding argument

One thing that really annoys me is when people try to avoid arguments.

Arguments are discussions in which reasons for and against a given proposition are presented. I think it's unhealthy to be argumentative all the time but one should not be closed off when an argument does ensue. Arguments do give people a better understanding of each other and the topic at hand. Arguments often can provide some sort of resolution where a mutual agreement can benefit all parties involved. Arguments allow people to learn how to look at things from different perspectives and can give the pros and cons of a certain decision that's not limited to just their own selfish opinion.

I spent around two hours last night arguing with someone about our Universe, its size and whether there was anything possibly larger than our Universe. For a large portion of that time, we were focusing on this one small technicality that I didn't understand. I didn't know exactly what he was saying but in the end, it turns out we were on the same page all along. It took two hours and I know it was a very big 'waste of time' but so long as we both didn't get tired of each other, this helped us understand each other's points eventually.

Why some people are so quick to just throw in the towel and say they're not going to partake in a particular debate is beyond me. Without argument, nobody would ever advance in the amount of knowledge that they had and everyone would be peace. Peace is good and harmony is great, but without exposing yourself to other people's opinions and without having your own views challenged by others, we would just a world of self-righteous egotists.


yolanda said...

personally i love a good ol' debate, but a lot of people hold their beliefs very close to themselves, and interpret a healthy discussion as a form of intense criticism.

i think arguing about stuff is extremely healthy. a deeper and more rounded friendship develops with a person when you can both be open to each other's viewpoints. (or course, mine is always right. ;-) )

Michael said...


The thing I love about arguing is when you argue with someone that sort of carries the same openness to arguments. In the end, conversations are always between two reasonable people with good logical skills and you can really build upon your own knowledge by listening to well thought-out and well expressed viewpoints on a given issue.

yolanda said...

perfectly phrased, i totally agree ;-)

J.J. in L.A. said...

In my experience, arguments = yelling. I refuse to yell so I'll avoid an argument like the plague. Debates, on the other hand, I'm all for.

Michael said...

J.J.: Debates is what I'm mainly discussing, so good. Arguments, on the other hand, should be carried out if both parties involved are aiming for an agreeable resolution. Arguing for the sake of arguing achieves nothing and should be avoided like the plague.

yolanda said...

sometimes you cant avoid an argument though. there is always a deeper issue at stake when you start to feel that tingling of rage. some people feed it, and some people repress it. neither are healthy, because the argument itself is not the issue, adn the real problem is being evaded. if you take a step back and try to understand what is really causing you to fight (the thought behind the thought), then arguments can offer the potential to deepen your compassion, and subsequently, your relationship.