117 - When another person throws a bowling ball down your lane

I have always loved to bowl, and I remember I used to go every week when I was around 8 or 9 with my mom and her boyfriend. Lifting a heavy sphere with just three fingers and throwing it at pins in the hopes of hearing that euphoric sound of a strike (or a turkey) just came natural to me like I had been born to play this sport. (My childhood asthma makes it hard for me to run around too much when playing soccer or basketball. I get shortness of breath really easily.)

I like that bowling alleys are air-conditioned. I don't like that they require you to change your shoes, but I guess the footwear is just for my own safety. I love the feel of a heavy bowling ball: it's smooth, shiny, and the mathematically perfect shape. They can come in any color, too, and as it rolls down an alley (or into a gutter), it creates one of the most beautiful manmade spectacles.

I'd like to say I'm quite good at bowling, but I haven't had any practice for about a year. I remember I used to be good enough to at least get strikes half the time. You'd think my prowess would earn me some respect on the bowling lanes, but no, apparently it's funny to 'steal' each other's turns, to throw multiple bowling balls down the alley simultaneously and challenge the machinery's automaticity, to disrespect the balls, the pins and the game itself, and just fling balls hard into the gutter because it's so damn funny when we sabotage other people's efforts.

It ain't funny to me. I will throw you to the other end of the alley. I know that my getting angry only makes the situation more amusing to the people that don't appreciate the game as much as I do, that it only fuels them with more entertainment. But you know... It's my turn... It's my lane... It's my game... Grr...

28 - The sound of high heels

Hmm... what's worse to me? The smell of dog crap or the sound of high heels?

Hands down, the sounds those women make as they trot on those one-legged platforms. I'm having my exams in these next two weeks and today, I was subject to this precise noise while I was in the middle of my first exam (which was the English exam. It's good to know that it's a popular subject, as shown by my poll on the right-hand side). I know we all can recall the unsettling sound of a teacher's heels in particular, as they clop clop clop in the corridors at school. My friend says that female teachers feel empowered and feel like even more of an authoritarian when wearing this form of footwear. Heels don't make sounds that are terribly disruptive, but I know that the sound certainly doesn't help anyone focus.

My friend also said that high heels improve a woman's posture and they make her look stronger, more calm and collected and sexier. Uh, stronger because they can withstand the terrible foot pain? More calm and collected because the high heels disallow them from actually running? And someone should get me the latest Guide to What's Sexy because in what universe are hammertoes, bunions and degenerative joint disease considered sexy?

I actually don't like it when any shoes make any sound. I don't like the squeaking that sneakers do on marble or hardwood floors, or the squelching of wellington boots when it rains, nor do I like the flop flop flop of slippers/flip-flops, or the sound that the chinks on cowboy boots make.

It's walking for God's sake. Why does any noise need to be emitted?

19 - Wearing Crocs

I hate Crocs.

They're hideous.

They're not as comfortable as people say they are, not comfy enough to compensate for their ugliness.

As much as air is allowed to pass through them, they still stink of feet.

The strap is pathetically insecure and poorly designed.

They're not suitable for when it rains and your feet get cold in the wintertime.

I hate seeing pictures of the Croc-pile (as pictured) and I hate that they come in an array of the brightest, most obscene colors.

Elderly people and young children are tricked into wearing them, by middle-aged people that are blind to the horrible offense Crocs cause against fashion.

I've never worn them and I never will. If they're nothing but an atrocity to the eyes, I can't imagine myself being able to bear wearing them on my own two feet. Yeuck.