Monday, November 24, 2008

28 - The sound of high heels

Hmm... what's worse to me? The smell of dog crap or the sound of high heels?

Hands down, the sounds those women make as they trot on those one-legged platforms. I'm having my exams in these next two weeks and today, I was subject to this precise noise while I was in the middle of my first exam (which was the English exam. It's good to know that it's a popular subject, as shown by my poll on the right-hand side). I know we all can recall the unsettling sound of a teacher's heels in particular, as they clop clop clop in the corridors at school.
My friend says that female teachers feel empowered and feel like even more of an authoritarian when wearing this form of footwear. Heels don't make sounds that are terribly disruptive, but I know that the sound certainly doesn't help anyone focus.

My friend also said that high heels improve a woman's posture and they make her look stronger, more calm and collected and sexier. Uh, stronger because they can withstand the terrible foot pain? More calm and collected because the high heels disallow them from actually running? And someone should get me the latest Guide to What's Sexy because in what universe are hammertoes, bunions and degenerative joint disease considered sexy?

I actually don't like it when any shoes make any sound. I don't like the squeaking that sneakers do on marble or hardwood floors, or
the squelching of wellington boots when it rains, nor do I like the flop flop flop of slippers/flip-flops, or the sound that the chinks on cowboy boots make.

It's walking for God's sake. Why does any noise need to be emitted?


Anonymous said...

well, i use high heels sometimes. it sure is noisy (though i didn't mind it before =P).. but as regards to other shoes, i really hate it when people (mostly girls) rub it against the floor while walking, making a rusty sound.

Madame DeFarge said...

Personally, I like the sound of high heels clipping along a corridor. Gives off an air of efficiency.

I loathed the sound of people eating mints during exams. Too much crunching annoyed me.

I shall try walking without any noise, but it could be difficult when walking over gravel. Maybe I should hover?

thumbsUpsmile said...

I have to agree with your dislike of the sound, especially when it's completely silent and the "clicks" are all that you can hear.

However, I don't mind wearing them so much. In fact for me, it's easier to run in them than to walk.

Thanks for you comments on my haikus by the way!

J.J. in L.A. said...

I was in a mall once when I heard the click, click, click of high heels. I turned towards the noise just in time to see the woman fall flat on her face. Her purse went flying, her lunch went flying...and I burst out laughing. That was one of my 8 things, if you remember.

Luckily, I can't wear high heels.

Michael said...


You mean they grind their heels on the floor? That's horrible. I don't remember seeing/hearing anything like that.


Michael said...

Madame DeFarge,

I don't think eating mints is permitted in our school... But I think any noise in an exam can be irritating.

Maybe you could just not wear shoes that make sound?


Michael said...


Your gangsta haikus are fantastic, I'll always be a big fan.


Michael said...


I, in fact, smiled at one point while I was writing this entry as I recalled your story you posted in your eight things.

Your descriptive details makes me laugh again. Hahaha.


Douglas said...

High heels... They tighten the leg muscles and give the leg better form. They increase height (I was introduced to my wife at a party but didn't recognize her because she was 3" taller than when I had seen her at work). They also tighten the gluteus maximus which results in a firmer looking butt. So, yes, heels are sexy. And, yes, they have a distinct sound which never bothered me. But they look like they are incredibly difficult to walk in and maybe that forces a more graceful walk (once mastered).

Zoe said...

Douglas is right about heels tightening the leg muscles and butt. Tis true.
Actually, I don't mind the sound of high heels clicking; it's crisp-sounding.

My Little Stories said...

High heels do let a woman feel powerful because of the extra height that they give. Steps are well calculated which let the woman glide and move gracefully. On the downside, high heels do hurt the feet and the knees. But women love them and can't get away from wearing the heels. So a good compromise is to wear them only on special occasions, social functions, or important meetings in the office.

Michael said...

Oh, Douglas,

I'm just being silly. Of course, they're sexy. I'm just saying that the sound ain't sexy. I don't think the atrocious feet are sexy either. It looks like I've alone in my hatred...


Michael said...


I guess I'm not too fond of crispness...


Michael said...

My Little Stories,

'Tis a good compromise, I suppose. I don't think they should be worn by teachers walking around in schools full of students who are trying (or not) to get work done, though.


Anonymous said...

Dear Michael.

it is fashion for girls. haha!

though i do hate it too when any shoes make any sound.


Anonymous said...

Have to disagree, particularly (in this case) with Douglas. I loath high heels period. I do not find them in the least sexy (showing my older fogyishness again). The latest fashion of wearing "bricks" on their feet I find nothing short of trollopish foolishness.


Michael said...


I guess so. I do like how girls can accessorize so much though with all sorts of jewelery and makeup. Seems like a whole other subcategory of art in itself.


Michael said...


Thank goodness. I was waiting for someone to strongly agree and particularly disagree with Douglas. Three cheers for the abhorrence of high heels!


Sherry said...

Thinking...thinking...have I ever heard the chinks of cowboy boots with spurs? I once lived in Reno, Nevada where there were some actual cowboys but I can't recall ever hearing this sound. I might like it in small doses.

Hippie said...

I feel that same way, all the way.
And I have a soft spot for converse.

Oh, and in response to your comment:
You're welcome, and thank you!
I've been enjoying reading about all the things you hate.


Michael said...


I must confess that the chinks of cowboy boots does sound quite pleasant, maybe because we don't hear it very often and because cowboys are cool.

It's cool that you've lived in Reno. I've heard a great story or two situated in Reno. Sounds like an interesting place.


Michael said...


You're welcome. I unfortunately don't share your liking toward Converse shoes...


Robot Nine said...

I always liked high heels, not so sure about bunions. Those flats cause plenty of foot ills also. But heels look sexy, and when I hear a pait coming down the hall they often signal a beautiful woman arriving! Sort of like a bird flitting about with her plumage, making some guttaral mating call...

Michael said...


Very true. If heels are nearing, it's bound to be an attractive woman coming around the corner.