Saturday, November 14, 2009

188 - When people feel like they can't talk to me

I know it when a person trusts me or doesn't trust me. I can sense it in the way they talk, their body gestures, and the tidbits of their lives they decide to share with me. Honestly, I'll talk to anyone, about anything they want to, but what I cannot stand is a bit too much smalltalk and not enough meaning to the time spent together.

It's easy for me to listen to people, and to say something relevant in return, to learn from others as well as teach something to my correspondent. I don't like it when people don't seem to have this social skill, when people are afraid of opening up themselves, and don't feel I would want to listen.

Truth is, we all like comfortable and honest conversation, and all work together to contribute to society. We're of the same species, in need of food and drink, air, attention and affection. We are all co-dependent, in the same boat, which is why I don't know why there are some people that just don't get the benefit of sharing. And when they don't share, it makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong.

If you never share your thoughts, how am I supposed to know how to respect you or make you feel comfortable with me around? How am I supposed to know what you want? How are we supposed to know what you like to do, what you like to talk about, or where your lines are defined so that we don't cross them? How are we supposed to coexist if you don't start talking to me?

6 comments:

Naomi said...

What really annoys me is that when I try to have a real conversation with someone, they don't really listen, so I give up eventually. Later on, however, they will get mad at me because I never have any meaningful talks with them. Thats when I just stare at them and think *You have GOT to be kidding me*

missykimmy said...

I respect it when people don't want to share too much about themselves. But they better not expect me to tell them everything about me.

Some people have this 'social skill', some people don't. You can't change that, so don't let it get to you. (:

missykimmy.blogspot.com

Marcy said...

Ah...
I can be very guarded around people I don't know well. Unless I know you (and trust you), I won't be opening up too much. It's a personality thing, rather than a social skill.

One thing I've noticed is that when someone asks, "How are you doing today," they really don't want an honest answer. They want a standard, "I'm fine." I guess some people don't want to hear the truth all the time.

RawknRobynsGoneBlogWild said...

Love this hateful blog. Michael, I'm giving you an award. Please see my latest post.
Congratulations from this Blogger and hater in California,
Robyn

Michael said...

Naomi: Ah, yes, that does tend to happen with some people. It ain't our faults that we didn't develop any bond - a good look in the mirror is what they need.

Kimmy: :)

Marcy: It's hard to say, but I think opening up and closing the door requires a sort of balance. I feel it's annoying when the equilibrium leans towards the side where people don't share.

Robyn: Thanks for the award, I'll stop by to pick it up later!

stardust said...

Hey I too feel the same way bout it !!
we're all exited bout the conversation and start saying things, but they don't even pretend to give a damn !!
well they don loose anything if they exhibit some amount of courtesy.......

loved it !!
keep 'em coming :)