Tuesday, November 24, 2009

193 - Self-involved people

In the past week or so, a lot of people have been coming to me with their problems. These people are close friends, as well as people whom I've only known for about two months. I like how they trust me enough to tell me such things, it makes me feel really good inside, very mature, very responsible, and very helpful, to take some of that burden off their tired shoulders.

Somewhere along the way, though, I feel like I'm losing my voice in a lot of contexts. I can talk openly in front of my best friends, but with the people I've just come to meet here in university, I feel like they don't care about me. All they seem to want is my feedback, and when talking to them, it's not like I can interject and steer the focus on to one of my own problems. That is bad social etiquette.

I've had a few personal things come up in the past week or so. I've discovered a new hobby. I got really homesick during the weekend. I decided to have a Star Wars marathon, because I've never seen any of the films before. (I'm about to finish watching Revenge of the Sith. Exciting stuff.) And as most of you probably know already, I managed to bring my blogging career one step further last week. And I also went to the university medical center yesterday. (Mom, don't worry too much. I'll tell you about it when you come online.)

But nobody knows about any of that. Nobody cares about that. Nobody wants to hear about that.

I find it so funny how I've dealt with a lot of things by myself while being at university, with nobody's aid whatsoever. I find it interesting how people have only come to me with their problems, expecting me to always lend a helping hand or to advise them. Even the superficial, everyday things that I listed above, aren't of any interest to anyone here. How am I supposed to build new relationships with people, how am I supposed to trust them in our work, outside our work, or in our living situation, when they don't know anything about me?

(If you're one of those people in my real-life that feels that I'm talking to you, please don't assume it is just yet. The truth is, after I publish this entry, I'm going to feel much better, and a lot more forgiving of whoever it is I'm directing this at. I'm always there to listen to you, to want to listen to you, and I know how easy it can be to get too caught up in your own matters. We've all been there and I'm just frustrated. Trust me when I say my mood will improve the next time I speak to you. This is just one of my down moments that I'm trying to get over.)

This is why I am so amazed by people's kindness. To be supportive of me and to listen to me is truly touching. I had a friend send me a box of cookies and well-thought-out letters all the way from America. I was so surprised at the length she went to to send me those things. I am blessed to have a handful of friends who will always listen to me when I'm feeling down. I am so blessed to have them care about my well-being, about my troubles, and about my opinion. I hope this post makes you readers reflect on what you've done for other people in the past few days. I hope all of you can be proud of what you do today, this week, out of the goodness of your heart.

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Anonymous said...

Don't worry, there will always be people out there who are there for you

Shimmer said...

ive been through a lot of such events. its intresting to see ppl trusting you even though u've just known them.
although not evry 1 can be like that. u and i seem to be similar when it comes to sharing personal incidents with others. ther are only a handfull of them that we trust and feel comfortable with.

its all depends on character, i guess :)

Marcy said...

This is the week of Thanksgiving in America. Sounds like you have a few friends to be thankful for.

Good friends will always be there for you, no matter what.

J.J. in L.A. said...

People are inherently selfish. I know I've been talking about my health issues a LOT lately.

My mom has overheard some of my conversations with my man, due to me being laid-up.

Last night, she said, "Don't go on and on about your health. It'll turn him off." I told him and he responded, "Why not?" I said, "Exactly! The whole 'in sickness and in health' thing isn't reserved just for marriage."

I like that I can moan and groan, and it's okay. He's vented to me about his problems too. This is just my turn.

RawknRobynsGoneBlogWild said...

Furthermore, I hate that most of the time when people vent and ask for feedback, they don't actually want to hear your perspective. They only want you to affirm what they already know instinctively, or what 100 other people they've vented to have already told them. I hate that!

Yes, those who truly listen are life's blessings.

Kate said...

Some people are just completely self involved and it drives you mad. I am sure there will always be other people around who care enough to listen and be supportive though. Kate x

Anonymous said...


H. said...

I encounter such people every single day of my life. They love talking, voicing out what they want, what they experienced, then they want your attention, your ears, to listen to a single rant for a whole day. And when you start giving advices, they don't seem to take them, or even to listen to them humbly and wholeheartedly. On the other hand, when you're troubled and you try talking to them, it's like they don't care at all, giving the usual responses like "it's alright", "ohhh." et cetera. which might make you feel worse.

If only people can listen not only to themselves.

Elizabeth said...


gaf85 said...

Michael, being a good listener is a wonderful quality you have. Some of us have turned it in to a career. Perhaps people sense you are not a judgmental person and trust you. Sometimes we have to ask for what we need.