Q&A - Michael answers questions about ending DYHIT.

For everyone reading this, I'm frankly going to tell you that I am formally ending this blog within the next month. I'm a frank kind of guy, so I speak frankly - or at least, I want to be a frank guy - and that's that. I may be a little optimistic and presumptuous here, but I'm thinking there are some questions that people want to ask about this move. A good friend of mine agreed to create a Q&A session with me addressing these questions, and here I am, hoping that my answers will satisfy.

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Q: So, Michael... are you just ending this blog, or is it all of your blogs?
A: I'm ending all four of them.

Q: Okay... why?
A: I'm going to try and make this as clear and simple as I can. When I first started blogging, I was seventeen years old, going to high school. I'm now nearing nineteen years old, studying at university. I've moved to another country, the company I have around me has changed, and quite frankly, my character has changed to adapt to what life has presented me with.

Q: Are you saying that the pressures of school have given you less free time to write?
A: That is a factor, but it definitely is not the main one in this decision. I have a lot of free time actually, probably a lot more than most of my readers, but what I want to do with that spare time is up to me, and I'd rather use it to treat myself to what makes me happy. I think that the premise of Do you hate it too? was fun, helpful and easy for me in Oct. 2008, but as I've grown up and gone through some major transitions, my personality has changed, and I no longer see the need, or the humor, in complaining.

Q: You don't complain about annoying people anymore in your daily life?
A: Heh, well, let me rephrase that: I no longer see the need, or the humor, in projecting my annoyance on a designated public forum. Blogging is a tricky ordeal - you want to be honest enough so that people feel that sense of connection, but you also don't want to be so opinionated that you upset people. I can still chuckle to myself if I should hear someone using the word 'irregardless' for example, but I'm just not comfortable anymore being the one pointing it out.

Q: Would you be open to letting people continue the fun on DYHIT by offering guest posts to be published here for your readers' entertainment?
A: This blog is fun, and wouldn't be the same without all the feedback I've received from the readers, but in the end, it is all me and I'd like to keep it that way. Quite frankly, I still don't believe I'm actually a writer - what I wrote at the beginning of this was the essence of the 17-year-old me. I'm sure there are many a talented writer who could help carry on this blog, but I would be much happier reading their thoughts on their own blogs where their creativity and professionalism can really shine on its own.

Q: Perhaps a writer could do you...
A: ... yes, like as a character! That would be great... to have a character in a book be based on misanthropic me. Hah!

Q: Speaking of books, what happened to that DYHIT book you were planning on publishing next month?
A: I may still do one at some point, but I guess there is a reason you don't get a lot of successful teenage authors these days. We, as a group, are still figuring ourselves out and have no idea what the heck we want in life. We're so impulsive, and haven't learned yet how to learn what we really want in life. I'll just say that the idea is still looming, and it may still happen - next year, the year after that, five years later? - I don't know. I'll be sure to get the word out there, though, to those of you who would be interested.

Q: How would you let us know?
A: Well... (thinking) here's what's going to happen. I want to create a new blog to replace the old four. If I shall have any thoughts of publishing a book, or doing anything else exciting in the future, I'll let you know there. I plan to launch the new blog some time next month. Beforehand, I will save everything I've done in a trusty hard drive for safekeeping, and give you all about a week's notice or something before I shut these ones down.

Q: Wait a minute, you're going to delete these ones?
A: You see, all the best things that have come to me have come at times where I went through a major transition, from one thing to a totally new, different thing. Wiping the slate clean allows for me to move on more easily. I wish I could just give these blogs a remake or something, but I feel like the fact that I'm not happy with its current state, indicates to me that I didn't do it right the first time. Hopefully, this new blog that I'm currently molding will feel 'right' for at least a longer period of time, will need no changes, and will be more flexible for my usage as I continue to grow up (unfortunately).

Q: I look forward to that one then, as I'm sure your readers are too. Maybe for old time's sake, let's go over where this all began?
A: Well, great idea. I said that in the span of a single post each day, I would consider one thing that was a nuisance to me. I was raving to another friend about how I hated it when people invited you to events at the last-minute, and he suggested - blogging. I got seriously pissed everyday during that time, and I had no idea why, it was just my character. I don't know if I was actually writing to the best of my ability, but all I was trying to convey was a voice, a style of humor, easy reading, and a dash of truth. I always knew it would be funny.

Q: And now it's not funny anymore?
A: It's hard to say. I think it's always funny to point and laugh at things people do, but funny also has to come from the heart, because otherwise, you're just a sadistic person. I'm not sure why exactly, but I'm just not feeling it in my heart anymore. I have my long days, I get sick and tired of some people, but when I get to sit in front of a computer now, I don't feel like typing it all down. It portrays me as a negative person, it makes me feel like a negative person... all of a sudden, it isn't so funny anymore.

Q: You've written over two hundred entries since Oct. 2008... can you select five favorites?
A: Impromptu invitations, throwing things in the bin, vulgar mispronunciations, having to reach into the tissue box for a tissue, and holding grudges.

Q: Any last remarks?
A: To anyone that eagerly follows me, there is a phoenix that will rise from the ashes - a blog that will just be a personal one about me, that may still feature some of the classic annoyed-at-the-world me, I promise. I take with me from these four blogs, four different lessons in how to approach the blogging world to maximize what I get from it. I assure you, all is not forgotten. This has been amazing fun for most of the past eighteen months, and without this one, I wouldn't have met a lot of great people that genuinely want to listen to me. I'm so happy I touched your hearts, made you laugh, and/or turned you on, or whatever else I did for you, but it's time to move on and I hope you can understand. I'll be back in a month or so with the new blog, so I'll catch you then.

I just want to finally thank Stuart, for this all would never have happened without his prompt. Thanks Sarah, Ariel, my mother and all 23 of the FIS-ers for providing me with many an idea for the blog, and also Elizabeth, Cindy, Michelle, Melvin, Jen, Eve, Amanda, Arthur and Graham for your expressed encouragement in the real world.

Thanks to J.J., Douglas, gaf85, Marcy, Jacynta, Gabriel, Ruchi, AV, Liz, and Madame DeFarge for sticking by since the early beginning, it's been a pleasure getting to know you. 

And shout-outs to Louise, Eugene, Larissa, Joebs, Logan, Shimmer, Chris O, Steven, Nilu, Madeline, Evelina, Robyn, Amanda, Pavitra, Chun, Yolanda, Chricel, Ren, Bindu, Eura, Naomi, Stephanie, Mike, Adora, Rachel May, Charis, Randa, Shanne, Ares, Daphne, Vincent, Jill, Vlado, Alan, Kimmy, Fish, Vivienne, Kate, Eura, KMcJoseph, Neen, and the people who follow me on Facebook, on Twitter, via my RSS feeds, the Hong Kong Blogs Review, the Standard, CNNgo, and whoever I forgot but actually contributed to it all in some way! Thank you!

207 - When people make the world revolve around me

My closest friends will tell you that I hate it when people always ask me how I am and what's up with me. They will tell you that I reckon my mother and my father and the rest of my family do it too often. My friends will tell you that my acquaintances don't know that it annoys me. They will tell you that sometimes even they, themselves, forget that I don't like revealing that much about myself when we're having a conversation. I just find it annoying when people ask me about me too much. If I wanted to talk to them about something, I would talk to them about it, right?

But I really don't blame them for asking about me. They're just expressing their care for me and want updates on my life. I blame myself mostly for this annoyance. I blame me for putting myself into situations that warrant people's attentions - it is a constant struggle to balance: doing what I want in front of others, while also conveying that I would like my own secrets, private life and alone time. My mother knows that struggle all too well with me, my father would drink to that privacy, and my friends would tell you that achieving that balance with me is one of the keys to being my friend. I prefer solving problems myself - unless I can't really help it. That includes sorting out my own time, money, relationships with people, and my own emotions.

So, please, my readers, I must make something very clear. I do not request advisement of any kind on this blog. I am no longer the bad-tempered kid I was a year ago that needs counsel. I don't need advice on how to tackle this problem or that, how to survive the meaningless chat when running into acquaintances or how to keep my chin up when someone ruins my day. Your encouragement is not needed here. Your questions of concern, I will not answer. All the personal stuff is what my other blog is for - in that blog, is where I have my space to be egotistical, and where I would appreciate kind words.

This is for you. To make you laugh, to make you empathize, to make you hit the surface of your desk in agreement and go, "Man, that irritates me, as well!"

I'm asking you, do you hate it too? Don't you hate it too when people make the world revolve around you?

I find it a little bit funny that by asking you that question, it then kind of makes the world revolve around you... and so if you do concur and do hate it too, then I would effectively be doing the very same thing we both hate, in the very same post. Hmm...

198 - Boastful winners

Contrary to sore losers, which I blogged about a couple of days ago, on the other hand, there are also those that boast a lot about winning. They like to shove their victory in your face, whether it be a vainglorious checkmate on a chess board, a full house full of hot air in a poker game, or a highfalutin hotel bought and set in place on Boardwalk (if you're American) or Mayfair (if you're British) when you're playing Monopoly.

There is also the kind of bragging that comes with showing your support for a particular sports team. I actually personally don't mind this - although feel free to disagree. I've just been exposed to many displays of gasconade when people come into lectures, classrooms or the workplace gloating over Manchester United's defeat of Liverpool, India's triumph over Australia in cricket, and Jenson Button's domination of the Formula One World Drivers' Championship. Although I don't participate in the shouting and cheering myself, I get it - I would cheer for television shows, or books, if they ran around a pitch passing a ball to each other in front of millions of people.

But when it comes down to personal bragging rights - people tend not to have any in my eyes. To show off with or without substantiation is annoying nonetheless. Nobody cares that much if you win - a good game is a good game, and that's that. I tend to see it as an act of ego-boosting. A truly confident person doesn't need to advertise his skill. A truly impressive demonstration of achievement waits for others to do the congratulations.

Although this was true in the case of Kayne West's shout-out to Beyoncé a couple of months back, sometimes, some people, like Taylor Swift, deserve a minute of glory time. I've heard of having insecurities - but Kayne West... God knows what's wrong with him.

A pat on the back is nice, but a continual 24/7 patting of one's back is bravado that's clearly going overboard. Tell me, dear loyal readers, do you hate it too?

169 - When other people want to throw my books away

Hello, bloggers. It's been a long hiatus, hasn't it, this summer?

I think I'm going to be back now, back to posting everyday about something that gets on my nerves. Not a lot has come to pass in the past three or four months... I got my exam results, and I didn't really make it into my desired university in London, but I'm going to be studying at the University of Kent instead.

It's located in the city of Canterbury, about forty minutes to the East of London, quite a short distance away from the South-Eastern coast of England. I was looking on the university website, at what people do on their weekends and holidays, and apparently, students can take just two trains, and in just three or four hours, be in Brussels or Paris, which I think is quite neat.

I say goodbye to Hong Kong on the 20th, ten days from today. It's already been emotional for me, gradually packing up everything I own into boxes and suitcases, and going out with my family and friends as often as I can. Hong Kong has been my home for such a long time, and I know every little thing about it. I hate to leave, but on the contrary, I also remember that I was dying to move out of here a few months ago.

Throughout the thoroughly depressing and already homesick three weeks prior to this day, my grandmother has told me periodically that I should throw away some of my old books, or give them away to my younger cousins, an orphanage, a charity group, or the church, because I won't read them anymore, and because it just takes up space in my room here in Hong Kong, an off-the-wall suggestion to me, with a justification that's ridiculous.

I was thinking about packing them all into boxes, and throughout the year, gradually have them shipped to the UK, where I will find the space for them all. I know I don't read the Mr.Men series, or my Goosebumps collection anymore, but why must I get rid of them?

And besides, who are you to say that my property should be dumped in the trash just because they take up space? They're my books, that rest in my room, out of your way, not a bother to you at all. I never tell you to throw away your property, like the spare light bulbs in our cupboard, that we bought years ago and don't even fit into our new lights, the herbal medicine in the fridge which we haven't used in over ten years, and the dozens of Reader's Digest that you keep on your shelf and haven't ever opened after the one time. I don't ask you to dispose of them, because you obviously cherish, and think of as worth keeping, all that stuff that's surely older than my books. Obviously, f I deemed my stuff a bunch of ancient crap, I would've thrown it away ages ago. But I treasure them, so I don't.

But these are books. Educational compilations of texts, of facts and fiction, that enlighten us. Why throw them away? My kids could read them in the future. I could read them again, you never know. And studies have shown that people who generally spend a great deal of time around books have higher Intelligence Quotients. They must continue to exist around me to make me smarter!

...throw them away? No way in Hell.

165 - Bad breath

At my workplace, I am not the sole bartender there is. There is one other, and he is a tall, Nepalese man in his twenties. He has a lot more experience doing this than I do. He can make a large variety of drinks, tell a lot of good jokes to keep the atmosphere buoyant, reach bottles and glasses on high shelves effortlessly, and perhaps best of all, spot the beautiful ladies at the bar as soon as they appear. There are some things that he still has to learn, though, and one of them is the fact that he has bad breath.

Restaurants and bars get pretty noisy, especially around 8 to 9pm. The music is blaring, people are chit-chatting, and the boss, the waiters, the waitresses, the barmen, the chef, and the sous-chefs, are all shouting at each other about this table and that, in order to keep the food and drink running smoothly.

And since it's so loud, us bartenders must sometimes resort to approaching each other, up close, to communicate. And when my partner comes up to me, and wants to clandestinely mumble something to me about this red wine nearly running out of stock, or how that customer over at table 28 is a total asshole, that moment is when I get a whiff of his odorous sigh.

I'll admit, I don't have the best oral hygiene. For the past few years, there are times when I'm just too tired and lazy to brush my teeth. I try to brush my teeth during my morning shower, but you see, keeping my teeth clean is not the point. The point is, I chew on gum, and I nibble breath mints, and I eat mint chocolate chip-flavored ice cream, in order to keep my breath fresh. (Okay, that last one sort of works against me in the long-run. I'm just joking about that.)

I don't mind if people don't use any soap when they shower, so long as they use deodorant/perfume before I see them (but of course, using soap is... preferred). There are just some things people need to do to be presentable around others. My bartending friend is fit to be seen, but his breath is utterly revolting.

149 - Personal insecurity

In my younger years, I used to be unbelievably shy. I simply would not utter a single word to my classmates throughout the school day, because I thought that these other kids were strange beings, people I could not understand. And because I could not understand them, they were people that I deeply feared. (The one permanent emotion of the inferior man is fear - fear of the unknown, the complex, the inexplicable. What he wants above everything else is safety. - Henry Louis Mencken)

It was only until my mother had picked me up from school and whisked me away that I was suddenly capable of human speech. She would meet me at the gate everyday after school, lead the way to the nearest road, and hail a cab. And it was inside this cab, where I instantaneously transformed into the talkative and opinionated person that you, my readers, are presented with today.

I behaved this way at the time because I only trusted my mother, and did not trust these strangers who worked and played alongside me. I also didn't think I was the best at anything (even though, at the time, all we did in class was basic maths, basic English and drawing). I didn't think too highly of my abilities and I did not want others to know my standards. I wasn't confident. I did not have very high self-esteem.

In retrospect, I believe it was because of this lack of confidence in myself and others that I did not have many friends in primary school. In fact, I am still very much like my five-year-old self, and when I go to school these days, I actually find myself distrusting my own and other people's judgements, and that's what usually separates me from the group.

I know several people who experience unease and nervousness each day because they perceive themselves, or others, as inadequate or worthless. There is a very fine line between being insecure but pretending to be okay, and actually being okay. And it's in pretending to be okay that annoys me, because the person I'm talking to is achingly putting on a fake, confident smile, just for me.

So what can that person do, or what can I do?

I like to attack a problem by first eradicating the source of the problem, like hosing down the stove in a kitchen fire. By that analogy, I mean trying to build confidence is the way to achieve a healthy quantity and quality of self-regard (i.e., remove insecurity).

However, how this can be done effectively is beyond me. These people are so insecure about themselves, that they think they aren't capable of anything, and that includes change for the better. They never feel motivated enough to talk more, or talk to one more person, they never feel like they can actually break out of their usual behavioral habits. And so it's just a horrible paradoxical internal bewilderment that exists within us, a bewilderment that is borne of these strange beings who feel insecure, sort of like a sprinkling into our lives of realistic humanoids that are machined to solely experience doubt, shyness, and feelings of being threatened... it's just another one of those vicious cycles.

I hate it, how are you supposed to build a strong relationship with someone that's insecure? Come on, readers, do you hate it too?

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(Do you hate it too? has received a Neno's award, displayed on the right-hand side underneath the Golden Bog Roll. Please check out the link, as I talk about why I love to blog. :D)

70 - Keeping skeletons in our closet

I've been more honest in my comments on other blogs than I have been on even my own personal blog. After sharing something personal with another blogger in a comment, he replied to my comment saying thank you for sharing and that everybody has skeletons in their closet...

That's only too true. And I know I've kept a lot of secrets to myself from from my parents and my closest friends. I don't like this fact, because I appreciate honesty. I despise people who feel so uneasy about sharing. I pride myself in always saying that secrets are just secrets, words are just words, the past is just the past. But the past is complex and tricky. We do hide things, no matter how open or honest we are because we will always have something that's just too hard for us to forget, something that we keep inside everyday that hurts and distracts us when we think about it, something only we would understand, something we don't want others to know because we're worried that others would not understand, or would think less of us, or would meddle in our crap. We save it in our hearts and memories because that's where we believe it belongs, not across the dining table, not in a class discussion, not at the birthday party, in our heads for safe-keeping.

I wish I could let those secrets go. They're petty when looked at in another perspective. It's not worth my effort to hide them. I don't have the right to say I'm a truthful person, or to accept 'you're an honest person' as a compliment, if I can't even say the whole truth.

Oh, but I know after this post, I will continue to keep things to myself. That fact is hypocritical and is difficult to digest.

I hide a lot of things from you bloggers too. I wish I didn't. Here's an example: Why am I posting this at 1:47pm in the afternoon, when I really should be at school?

(By the way, the Christmas tree is still standing in the living room...)

18 - When someone doesn't love you the same way

As you've probably guessed, this is a serious one for a change. It's not a stupid, senseless and mindless habit this time. It's about something deep, something emotional and something astonishingly common. I've had a good seventeen years to find people to love, care for and share with. More than half the time, I've had feelings for them, feelings that I'll just group together into what we know as crushes. When someone does not love you the same way, it means they don't have a crush on you at the time you have a crush on them.

When you think about your own love, the pain and torment of said love originates from the internal struggle, and the ever-lasting wonderment about whether or not the other person likes you back. A whole list of other things can drive you to shed doubtful tears. You may think you don't deserve such a great person as him/her, or you may notice that he/she has some flaws you might not be able to oversee, or you may have external pressures from your family and your peers, or you may be afraid of a little competition, or you may be much accustomed to acting stoic, causing you to think about how you're ever going to change your personality, but the universal thing that makes us most worried about confessing your love is the fear of not getting what you wished for, and the overwhelming heartbreak that comes with rejection.

And then there is the horrible case in which you are already in a relationship, but you have lost your initial spark, and your companion just does not love you the same way as he/she used to in the good ol' days, and it hurts when there is no possible way to rekindle old, passionate flames. Whether or not you're in a relationship, you may give a huge multitude of things: care, effort, time, advice, patience, trust, consistency in character, shoulders for crying on, ears for listening, hands for holding, understanding, respect, etc... You may give all these things, but in the end, it comes down to whether or not they love you the same way - if they have the same feelings you do, and it is a pity when they don't.

I speak of this from experience and having heard many a sad story, I know of this from my friends and my family, my parents in particular as they are divorced and do not love each other in the old respect they did seventeen years ago. Sigh, I am only a seventeen-year-old student, yet life appears so much older, less colorful and more unattractive when I go from class to class. The classrooms reek of sadness thanks to loneliness and the absence of a mutual love, despite the childlike excitement and desire at school, the sparkles in our eyes we get from learning, the work that we do that distracts us from our troubles, the smiles on our faces we use as shields to hide the thoughts that lie deeper within our head.

But, really, who hasn't been rejected? Who has ever been able to escape the love spell, in other words, the curse of affection that consumes the minds of each and every person in my life (especially the important ones)? Why is it that we all want to be loved in the way we love others? What is it that makes us wish the stranger was our friend, wish the friend was our lover? How can my idea of love be different from yours if love is meant to be pure, independent and ever-lasting? Why is love seemingly unfair? Why love at all? Why bother?

This problem occurs a lot.
Do you hate it too?