Tuesday, February 10, 2009

104 - How friendships fade away

There is someone in my class that I used to be fairly good friends with. Not good per se, but we talked. Our school is located on a high hill, and I remember how we used to walk down together every day after school. We were able to communicate, we were able to share some laughs, talk about different aspects of our lives and enjoy each other's company or conversation. I remember how we talked about girls, I remember telling them about some of my personal secrets, I remember how we grew to respect each other and trust each other. I remember we were friends.

It's funny how friendships fade without you even knowing it.

I don't know what happened to my friendship with him. I don't think he cares about me anymore. He looks at me each day in passing, and I glance at him in class. He seems to be doing well. He seems to be happy. But we have nothing to do with each other. We don't know how each other's lives are really going, we don't know what we each had for lunch, or what our life philosophies are, or how our families are doing, or which girl we like in that way, or what we have planned for the future.

Many times, I get inspiration for this blog from my classmates. And for each time, I wonder if the people that inspire me actually read my posts, if they actually notice that this blog refers to them.

It's funny how what I've said here can actually apply to two people. I used to call them the two 'leaders' of the class. They were the people that seemed to stand out, the people I looked to for help in my early days of being in this school. They're both incredibly smart, and applied to top universities in the world. They achieve well, have no bad relationships with people, obedient towards their parents.

They're both very different, but I respect them very much 'til this day. It makes me feel like I'm not good enough to be their friend.

And I hate how friendships disappear in the blink of an eye.

12 comments:

Randa said...

What's worse is when it's a really good friend and you know that you're fading but you don't know how to fix it.

Ares said...

(sigh) That must be what one of my past best pals thought after I left him all too suddenly. I can't tell him why either, though, admittedly, my reason was as selfish as what I've done. That was already about 3 years ago, and now we each have our own set of new friends, and were as good as strangers to each other. I'm just glad he found his friends.

Sorry about it.

Douglas said...

Life is fluid. And relationships the most fluid part of it. I always envied those who had lifelong friends, it is something I lack. Possibly due to my "gypsy" nature. It is hard to maintain a friendship when one, or more, moves about in life.

Ryan (LWM) said...

Some friendships are best left to fade away and die a painful death. But, I do appreciate what you mean here.

Hail To The Thief said...

I have this friend who I haven't spoken to properly in a few months. We were exceptionally close. It's really awkward, I'm upset about it and I always wonder whether he is too. It's neither his fault or mine, we just sort of fell apart.

The thing is we're both too stubborn to start things back up again, which I admit is really infantile.

J.J. in L.A. said...

What Randa said...

I lost my best friend, at 10 years old, when she moved to Oklahoma. I understood that.

I lost another best friend at 20 years old, and I don't know why. We talked to and saw each other nearly every day for 10 years...and then we didn't.

Jacynta said...

Randa said...
"What's worse is when it's a really good friend and you know that you're fading but you don't know how to fix it."

I agree

The Girl in the Other Room said...

amen to that.

K.C said...

Me and My Ex-Best Friend Emily were so close. We told each other all of our secrets and now we barely even talk. I'm in 6th grade and she's in the same class as me. We don't even talk unless it's on Facebook.What hurts even worse is that I see her every day with a girl named Kiki. They're as close now as me and Emily were.I miss you Emi!

Anonymous said...

im going through the same thing now, but it was my best friend. it happened slowly at first and i thought i could fix it, but then one day kinda changed everything and ive honestly done everything i could do but now we dont talk anymore and theres no good reason, at all. and it hurts so bad but i think i should try one last time.

ONEDAY101 said...

I Know exactly how you are going through me and my bestfriend would text every day ! nonstop second by second but i ruined it by calling her name i did not mean /: and now it is different i have to be the one to text her first ,and she puts no effort ,and its just like kills me slowly . my friendship was so amazing with her. i changed her into a better person...its just like ..ugh

Anonymous said...

I'm going through something like this now. I still have no shortage of friends for the most part, but it seems I don't hang with them like I used to. Only some I do hang with, but my best friend, or former best friend, has been hard to reach up in person. He's always studying for something or doing some bullshit, which makes me feel like I'm wasting my time knowing him. We still talk and text, but it's not the same overall. People come and people go. That's the cycle of life. I can't complain too much though, I still get invited to parties and get laid when I want to.