Wednesday, February 18, 2009

112 - Fingerprints

A week or so ago, I was using someone's iPhone to check my e-mails, until I started to notice that I was creating tiny impressions on the screen with the small ridges and minuscule valleys located on my fingertip. It bothered me, and I attempted to make it all better by simply 'wiping' it off, wrongfully with my fingertip. This only achieved a smudgy gash of fingertip oil (is it actually oil?) spread out diagonally across the display. So then I reached into my shirt, poked my shirt from the inside, and tried to wipe the screen. The weave of my shirt's fabric just made it the smudge worse.

I hate fingerprints on television screens, mirrors, cutlery made of stainless steel, magnifying glasses, snow globes and paperweights, vases, marbles, calculator displays in mathematics class, scalpels in biology class, beakers and conical flasks in chemistry class, lenses in physics class,
rulers, protractors, metal keys, CDs, aluminum foil, glasses/spectacles, computer monitors, metal doorknobs, windows, anything laminated, iPod screens, the front-faces of alarm clocks, lighters, sunglasses, glass cabinets, glass doors, those plastic lids that protect airplane food, those plastic cups on airplanes, airplane windows, the walls of greenhouses, shiny Rubik's cubes, tiled floors and walls, coins, pianos, knife edges, good-quality playing cards, beads, light bulbs, photographs, mahjong tiles, the faces of some wristwatches, folder slots, guitars and other instruments, especially drum cymbals, hard covered books, et cetera.

I think just prints in general peeve me. The worst case for me just has to be lipstick (or lip oiliness in general) on the edge of a glass.

No, no, scratch that. The worst occurrence is when people sit down when they're sweaty, so they leave giant butt marks with their perspiring posteriors.

Actually, no. The worst instance of fingerprints for me simply is a bunch of kindergartners deliberately painting their hand in order to make prints. It's intentionally done. And that's appalling.

10 comments:

Douglas said...

Get used to it. The Next Big Thing is touchscreen technology (oddly, it was thought to be The Next Big Thing back in the 80s too).

I agree with you, though. I hate to see fingerprint smears all over glass doors and windows. Even worse are the forehead smears.

And, yes, it is oil.

Madame DeFarge said...

Clearly, you are destined for life as a master criminal. Actually, I find the imprints of birds on windows rather disconcerting. Gives me the creeps.

LittleJ said...

Michael!
clearly you missed out on one of the great joys of life: fingerpainting.
What is better than wet warm paint oozing out between your fingers?

J.J. in L.A. said...

What's worse is dog nose prints on a window or doorknob. Who knows where that nose has been?!

Louise said...

I agree!!! I once thought of buying a pair of laboratory gloves just for me to be able to hold stuffs without having my fingerprints on them. Yeah, silly, I know.
But Douglas is right. Get over it. I see a lot of technologies these days built with touchscreen features, it irks me for I hate seeing smudgy screens. And oh, God, why would anyone want to vandalize such clear, delicate creations with their dirty hands!?

Vivienne said...

how about taking a seat in the bus and noticing it's all warm....?

Cat said...

This drives me crazy, too. I'm constantly wiping off my phone, and don't even get me started on my laptop screen. I have the same issue with dust on TV screens, however I'm equally horrified when I dust because all the particles float around and then I just know that I'm breathing them into my poor, helpless lungs. I hate dirty shit.

Michael said...

Douglas: I think they're starting to make a lot of digital technology controllable with just motion sensors. Take the Wii for example. There will soon be portable projections instead of desktop computer monitors. With people poking air.

Madame DeFarge: They give me the creeps too.

Sarah: *shudder*

J.J.: Oh, dog noses and mouths worry me so much.

Louise: Hahahaha, gloves. That would be a little extreme. I guess I must get used to it 'cause it's just something that... happens.

Vivienne: Good one. Savin' it up in my list of ideas.

Cat: I agree. Vacuum cleaner is the best policy.

Vilges Suola said...

I am constantly wiping the wine glass I drink from because the finger prints on it revolt me. As to sweaty ass-prints, it depends entirely on whose they are.

Danny said...

I can enjoy fingerpainting because it allows me to make a mess on purpose and squash thingsaround all for the sake of art. however, I will never be able to buy an itouch or a cool phone like my friend has because I can't stand fingerprints on shiny surfaces. It makes my technology look dirty.I feel you here, bud.