Friday, January 2, 2009

67 - "Chill"

It has occured to me that I haven't written a post for a week (since December 26th). It's because I wrote five days of posts in advance, used photos in the sixth one and a, you know, Youtube video for, you know, yesterday's post. So excuse me if my mind appears to not be set to writing mode. It's been a while.

Many times in the past sixty to seventy days, I have realized that I actually have a surplus of ideas for this blog. In some cases, these ideas were suggested to me from fellow bloggers and friends. In other cases, I just have a bad day where everybody irritates me. But I can only talk about one thing per day because that's what I promised myself.

Sometimes, I really have to let out this anger and rant about it in front of others. In serious cases, I will confront the person that's annoying me and tell them what is discomforting to me about the way they behave. They usually, of course, argue back. I then try to reason with them, and tell them my perspective in a way they might understand and empathize with. And then they will tell me to chill.

Right now, I can't think of anything more annoying to say to somebody that's angry than to tell them to simply: chill. Perhaps I know how you feel or an insincere apology come close, but chill, relax and dude, calm down have to be at the top of the list. It just angers me so much, more than whatever they annoyed me with in the beginning. The rage burns inside you and you want to explode or strangle the other person.

I understand that being chill is good. I like things natural, peaceful and simple too. But gosh, chill is the most ineffective and unhelpful thing to say to someone that's fuming mad and wants nothing more than to release their emotions. It's funny that it has the opposite effect. It's weak advice.

Another one is just let it go. I like to fix problems. I will argue with a person until the issue is resolved. I will not let it go until a resolution is formed. I will not chill or relax and float around with an unsolved problem on my back. It's peaceful, yes, but you have to work hard for your peace to make peace. You must make things resolute by exchanging opinions so as to formulate a conclusion which all parties involved can agree with. I will not settle for peace roused by ignorance and lack of initiative.

Gosh, I need to chill.

11 comments:

J.J. in L.A. said...

I hate it too but what I really hated was, after an argument (actually a screaming match), my (ex) boyfriend called minutes after leaving and asked, "Have you changed your mind yet?" That made me SO mad that I refused to speak to him for a week.

Vivienne said...

haha chill my friend. I knwo waht you mean, I think chill sounds quite patronizing don't you think?
Unlike you though I hate confrontation so I always shut up and bottle it up. Maybe that should change this year, I should tell people what annoys me. And stop worrying about what they might think of me. And just let it go.... :)

Cat said...

It's not exactly the same, but when I'm upset about something, and someone tells me that "god has a plan"? I have to physcially restrain myself from punching them in the face. God can take his plan and shove it.

I'm fascinated by your use of the English language. You speak it better than most Americans, and you've livedin Hong Kong your whole life.

Prash said...

Confronting the person who annoys you : a very good idea.

where do they sell "chill pills" ? I need to buy some of them, me too ! ;-)

Leon Basin said...

Hey, how are you doing?

Michael said...

J.J.: Ah, like he's the one that has the sound mind that doesn't need to change. Those little phrases like that are hard to digest. Some people really don't think before they speak...

Vivienne: Patronizing, I think so. It's like they know what's good for me and that is to chill. I wonder what you will do this year. I'd love to read about your thoughts on your blog.

Prash: Thanks. Oh, man, I forgot about the slang 'chill pill'.

Leon: Hi, I am doing good, thank you. Thanks for coming by and happy new year to you.

Michael said...

Cat: I haven't heard that ever. I suppose you'd consider me lucky?

I have always gone to an English-medium international school. I needed to so I could communicate with my Filipino father and my mother also thought it would open up more opportunities in the future in terms of studies and career.

I am one of the high-scorers in my English class, but stems from my understanding of the way structure, spelling, grammar and punctuation works. The thing I lack most is vocabulary, but I'm trying my best to expand it. I also feel that I need to expose myself to more. It helps with the creative side of things when you've been exposed to more 'material' in life.

J.J. in L.A. said...

Yeah, he even told me once that I needed to see a psychiatrist...why the heck was I with this guy??? lol!

Cat said...

You have a bigger English vocabulary than most people I know. I'm not kidding at all! But we're American, therefore we're lazy. You should be very proud of your bi-lingual little self. You're extremely well-spoken, especially for someone for whom English is a second language. I'm very impressed with you!

Michael said...

J.J.: There's no shame in seeing a psych, actually. It helps me...

Cat: That is a surprising compliment. I often think my vocabulary is not expansive enough. But, know that I actually consider English my first language. I speak Cantonese (Hong Kong Chinese) and Mandarin (China Chinese) a lot less fluently. But yes, I am bilingual, I suppose. Thanks.

Anthony said...

This can't work as a matter of fact, that is exactly what I believe.
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